November 10, 2013 9:10 am -

Edwin Charles Tobergta has unusual tastes in sex partners.

Tobgerta’s sentencing this week to 11 months in jail for his romp with a pool raft included a brief history of Tobgerta’s previous relationships. Apparently, in 2002, he had sex with a pumpkin that was part of a Halloween display. The presiding judge called Togberta’s sexual exploits “lewd,” and “something society’s not going to tolerate.” Society has already tolerated Togberta getting caught having sex with a pool raft five previous times however.

Apparently, it all started with his love of pumpkins. It’s a gateway gourd.

It’s fine to love who you love, but not what you love.  Pool rafts and pumpkins can’t consent. And isn’t it a mistake to dress him in orange?