April 30, 2014 6:30 pm -

The 26-year-old Texas man died inside an industrial fortune cookie mixer.

The police are investigating, and foul play is not suspected. Hopefully someone has also called the Occupational Safety & Health Administration.

We ask that you be circumspect about any bad puns about the man’s fortune you might be tempted to leave in the comments.

D.B. Hirsch
D.B. Hirsch is a political activist, news junkie, and retired ad copy writer and spin doctor. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.