SATIRE: (But Only Barely) Did Sen. Cochran Just Admit To ****ing Farm Animals???
This is one of those stories that, at first, you think you’re reading The Onion. But this comes from Raw Story, not noted for its sense of humor.
Raw Story reports that the Mississippi Senator, facing a stiff challenge from a Tea Party Opponent in an upcoming primary, said this a to group of donors and supporters at Forrest General Hospital in Hattiesburg.:
I grew up coming down here for Christmas,” he said. “My father’s family was here. My mother’s family was from rural Hinds County in Utica.”
“It was fun, it was an adventure to be out there in the country and to see what goes on,” he said of his boyhood visits to Hattiesburg. “Picking up pecans, from that to all kinds of indecent things with animals.”
The audience chuckled.
“And I know some of you know what that is,” Cochran said.
As Republican primaries go, this one has been — shall we say — odd?
Cochran is currently locked in a primary battle with Tea Party challenger Chris McDaniel. Neither man won a decisive victory in the first round of primary voting and are headed for a run-off on June 24.
The bitter contest between the two conservatives has taken bizarre twists and turns. McDaniel supporters were arrested for trespassing into the nursing home where Cochran’s ailing wife is hospitalized with dementia. On the night of the June 3 primary, another group of McDaniel supporters got themselves locked into the county courthouse in what they deny was an attempt to tamper with ballots.
Now, far be it from this correspondent to bad mouth the good folks in the Magnolia State. His first full-time radio job was in Pascagoula. Being a Yankee I had no taste for grits, or sex with farm animals.
But the fact that the audience chuckled at this kinda tells a feller what he needs to know about some of the folks down yonder in southern Mississippi.
Anthony Weiner was forced to resign from Congress after texting pictures of his manly parts. But that was in New York.
One wonders if the admission of boyhood boinking of sheep in rural Mississippi might not just be the thing to put Thad over the top.
We know how same sex marriage polls down in Ole Miss — not very well.
Has there been any reliable polling done on Mississippi’s acceptance of adolescent sex with animals? And does the gender of the animal in question affect how people feel about it? And did Thad’s love of animals go beyond the farm and into the home? Did he give a whole new meaning to the old saw, “Knick Knack Paddy Whack, Give the Dog a Bone?”
We shall see.