June 23, 2014 3:16 pm -

If you want to get people to follow Jesus, wouldn’t it be a better idea to do it in a way that Jesus would have approved?

In Joplin, Missouri, a church is being criticized after raffling off two AR-15s during last week’s Father’s Day celebration in order to increase attendance and “get more people to follow Jesus.” The church is stroking guns for Jesus because we all know He carried a Glock…

The lead pastor told the Joplin Globe “We’re just dudes,” adding, “If we can get more people to follow Jesus, I’ll give away 1,000 guns. I don’t care.”

Think Progress:

Pastor Heath Mooneyham promised that “you can kill a weak zombie with that thing” or “double tap a zombie” with another gun, “the “Lamborghini of AR-15s.” Mooneyham added: “So get your butts to church, if you’re late don’t cry to me that you’re a pansy and you cannot set your alarm, alright? You’re a big boy. You got big balls between your legs, you’re a dad right?”

D.B. Hirsch
D.B. Hirsch is a political activist, news junkie, and retired ad copy writer and spin doctor. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.

No responses to Pastor Vows: ‘I’ll Give Away 1000 Guns’ To ‘Get More People To Follow Jesus’

  1. Red Eye Robot June 23rd, 2014 at 3:55 pm

    I can’t find it in my bible where did jesus say people shouldn’t own AR-15’s?

    • William June 23rd, 2014 at 4:53 pm

      “I can’t find it in my bible where did jesus say people shouldn’t own AR-15’s?”
      That’s because you’re not using the ‘Murican Bible..
      Filthy commie.

      • Anomaly 100 June 23rd, 2014 at 7:08 pm

        Laughing so hard it hurts!

    • jasperjava June 23rd, 2014 at 7:09 pm

      Those who live by the sword shall die by the sword.
      The AR-15 being an updated version of the sword, of course.

      And they will beat their swords into ploughshares, and their spears into pruning hooks; neither shall they make war anymore.

      Just two off the top of my head. If you read the Bible looking for justifications for your thirst for blood and violence, you will find it. But there are also a lot of passages promoting peace, disarmament, and non-violence.

      • Justin Volke V June 24th, 2014 at 2:09 am

        Owning a sword is not the same as making a living with a sword. So are you saying our government that uses AR-15s to guard the president are sinful and must be destroyed ?

        • fahvel June 24th, 2014 at 4:22 am

          aren’t you embarrassed yet foo!

      • Red Eye Robot June 24th, 2014 at 3:12 pm

        the AR-15 is not an updated version of the sword. any attempt to claim such is an exercise in intellectual dishonesty. There is no technological lineage between the two objects. Furthermore what does owning a gun have to do with making war? , Violence? or thirst for blood? It seems peculiar that people who would speculate that owning a gun is equal to making war and forbidden by the God but wouldn’t dare speculate on what God might think of the practice of Abortion?

    • fahvel June 24th, 2014 at 4:20 am

      it’s stuck between love thy neighbor, turn the other cheek and do unto others – why ask such a stupid question? Oups, maybe ’cause you may be stupid.

      • Red Eye Robot June 24th, 2014 at 3:26 pm

        I can’t love my neighbor and own a gun? Does the turn the other cheek thing apply to Europe & Asia in 1939? Should the world have just acquiesced to the demands of Germany Italy and Japan? Perhaps your understanding of the bible is a bit superficial…much like your intellect.

  2. Debra Watkins June 23rd, 2014 at 4:16 pm

    Do you have nothing better to offer?? *rolls eyes*

  3. craig7120 June 23rd, 2014 at 5:53 pm

    Giving a gun away at church, who cares. The white wing xtians who use their interpretation of the bible to build fences and walls that demean fellow humans the same as the imams who use their interpretation of the koran to intimidate and oppress followers is the root of societies ills.
    In my humble opinion, the contents within the bible being taught to children and adults, now that’s offensive.

    • Justin Volke V June 24th, 2014 at 2:05 am

      What ‘s an xtian? Someone who celebrates x-mas because they are too dumb to spell Cristmas ?

      • fahvel June 24th, 2014 at 4:19 am

        no fella – an xian is a fool that lives life without facts and launders the teachings of the religion to fit the mood of the day – pure and simple goof balls.

        • Justin Volke V June 24th, 2014 at 12:36 pm

          I’ m glad that I’m not an xtian. I’m a Roman Catholic. We live with facts. We accept Darwinian evolution. Popes even have acknowledged that there may be life on other planets. We also know that science cannot explain where the singularity that exploded in the Big Bang came from. Or what caused it to explode as in “let there be light” from Genesis.

      • craig7120 June 24th, 2014 at 8:25 am

        “What’s an xtian?” You’re funny
        I guess telling you about the edit feature would be a waste. I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer but even I know better to insult someones intelligence with grammatically incorrect sentences.

      • Shades June 24th, 2014 at 9:13 am

        LOL, so says the guy that misspelled Christmas.

        • Justin Volke V June 24th, 2014 at 12:31 pm

          Recognizing satire isn’t your strong suit is it?

  4. Dwendt44 June 23rd, 2014 at 10:10 pm

    “ it in a way that Jesus would have approved?”
    But Jesus did say, sell your clothes and buy a weapon.
    He also said, in parable to ‘bring them before me that refuse to follow me and slay them before me!’.

  5. Bunya June 24th, 2014 at 2:28 pm

    Now THAT’s the best reason I’ve heard so far to “get more people to follow Jesus” – forcefully. I’m sure if Jesus were alive today, he wouldn’t be caught dead attending Sunday services without packing his .38.

  6. sunka June 25th, 2014 at 5:59 pm

    Hell’s bells why hasn’t Huckabee put this guy on during primetime! Pastors giving away assault rifles is right up his alley don’t ya think? He could co-guest with Sarah Palin and the ratings would skyrocket!

  7. crc3 July 5th, 2014 at 11:09 pm

    Would Jesus have packed? Nope. Jesus would not approve of this pastor’s intentions. However… the NRA would….