August 1, 2014 7:17 am -

Alan Colmes spent some time with Ted Nugent on his radio show Thursday night and asked the rocker about that time he called Hillary Clinton a ‘worthless bitch”

Colmes said, “You have used the C word against her”  as well as many other expletives to describe our elected officials including Barack Obama.

Still yet, Ted Nugent says he’s a victim and he used those terms because he’s an artist.

However, Nugent says those quotes (verbatim) were “taken out of context” but he “pleads guilty” which make sense to no one ever.

When Alan said, “You don’t need to use language like that,” Nugent said something about rock and roll. Or whatever.

So anyway, the draft-dodging, pants crapper said,  “I need to search of accurate and emphatic terms to condemn what this President, what this administration, the corruption of power, the abuse of powers going on in this country, and in the heat of battle, after hearing story after story of good American families being jackbooted, because the EPA claims they’re on wetlands when there is no moisture. When their farms are being shut down because of a salamander where there’s no salamander. The wrong houses being raided”

That is the longest sentence ever, because salamanders.

Before you hear the actual interview, WTF does this even mean? The creator of long sentences said:

I was extremely agitated and I was coming out of a number of communications with a number of families that were heartbroken in tears and that interview erupted right then and there after discussing these tragedies, these offenses by our government and so those terms came out. What is a subhuman mongrel? It’s just terminology. How about this? Try this on for size. He’s a bad deceitful America hating man.

The most telling part of the interview is Ted Nugent explaining that he never crapped in his pants to avoid serving in the military. That claim came directly from Nugent, but now he denies saying it.

Put on your Hazmat suit and have a listen as to why Nugent is not dead or in jail, as promised:


D.B. Hirsch
D.B. Hirsch is a political activist, news junkie, and retired ad copy writer and spin doctor. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.

68 responses to Ted Nugent Totally Explains Why He’s Not Dead Or In Jail, As Promised

  1. Larry Schmitt August 1st, 2014 at 7:29 am

    How can you do that interview with a straight face? Or without throwing up? And “You took my words out of context” is always the refuge of a man caught with his foot in his mouth.

    • bhil August 1st, 2014 at 10:20 am

      No one ever asks of the interviewed what is the context? In Teds case i am sure he doesn’t have a clue.

  2. Steph August 1st, 2014 at 7:34 am

    That does not even qualify as “word salad”. What Nugent does is more like “verbal vomit”. If ever Nugent and Palin would be interviewed together, the derp would collapse the universe into a black hole.

    • Pilotshark August 1st, 2014 at 8:56 am

      Palin/Nugent 2016
      the word salad, verbal vomit dream team of the teapublicans.

    • Tommy6860 August 1st, 2014 at 9:01 am

      Haha, I like that, “Verbal vomit”. Maybe that’s what he regurgitates after consuming Palin’s word salad.

    • Larry Schmitt August 1st, 2014 at 10:01 am

      The mikes would explode.

      • granpa.usthai August 1st, 2014 at 11:30 am

        not to mention Sara having her first _____________ ever!

  3. Abby Normal August 1st, 2014 at 7:58 am

    The Poison Control Center recommends keeping a Ted Nugent CD in your medicine cabinet in case you run out of Syrup of ipecac.

  4. NW10 August 1st, 2014 at 7:59 am

    • Khary A August 1st, 2014 at 9:50 am

      This is like visual ipecac.

  5. Republicans_are_Evil August 1st, 2014 at 8:14 am

    We need to bring back compulsory incarceration in mental hospitals.

    • granpa.usthai August 1st, 2014 at 11:29 am

      he PROMISED ” jail or dead”!
      can’t say as I’d blame law enforcement personnel for not wanting to change his diapers, but a PROMISE is a PROMISE and…
      he BROKE his PROMISES!!! every one!

  6. Tommy6860 August 1st, 2014 at 8:15 am

    Reading this article was enough that I need nothing more than to listen to his screed. I’d just assume eat broken glass with a big gulp of drano.

  7. Shades August 1st, 2014 at 9:05 am

    So he was lying then or he’s lying now. Yeah, that pumps up his credibility.

    • M D Reese August 1st, 2014 at 12:06 pm

      Knowing him, he was lying both times…

    • Bob H August 1st, 2014 at 1:58 pm

      Shades, I’d bet he’s lying both times, but a lot more now then earlier.

  8. William August 1st, 2014 at 9:05 am

    Theodore DID go into great detail about living in his own filth to avoid the draft. He did it when it was considered “cool” to do outrageous and anti establishment things in the rock and roll culture. I remember the interview. I remember it quite vividly because I was in the service at the time. I read it and passed it around. Admittedly I was bitter during that time because of Jimmie Carters blanket Amnesty to draft dodgers. I was also still mourning the loss of a someone close to me whose parents didn’t have the money to buy the coveted college deferment.
    I guess in retrospect, I forgive an awful lot. It was (as all wars are) unjust and a failure of the species. What I cannot forgive is those that come back later wrapped in a flag, waving a gun and calling themselves “patriots”. Further…
    If you brag about sex with a 13 year old, and receive multiple convictions for poaching, you do NOT speak for or represent responsible gun owners. Theodore Nugent is a blight, a disgrace, and a festering boil on what used to be a consortium of sportsman that called themselves the NRA. There was a time when convicted poachers were shunned by hunters.

    • M D Reese August 1st, 2014 at 12:05 pm

      Well said.

  9. crc3 August 1st, 2014 at 9:27 am

    I’m not listening to that video because TN is himself a piece of cr*p and I and everyone else knows it. It angers me that he is still alive and breathing what’s left of my clean air…

  10. R.J. Carter August 1st, 2014 at 9:47 am

    Interviews with Ted are fun to do. You just put the question out there, sit back, and let Ted be Ted.

  11. Maxx44 August 1st, 2014 at 10:02 am

    If this bottom feeder is such an American patriot, why did he sink to such depths to avoid serving the country he supposedly loves?

    • Republicans_are_Evil August 1st, 2014 at 10:32 am

      He is a hatriot, not a patriot.

  12. bhil August 1st, 2014 at 10:14 am

    Sorry to say that according to Teddy to be a patriot the qualifications are whatever he wants them to be, sort of vague, blurry. Just keep waving those flags Ted!

  13. BillTheCat45 August 1st, 2014 at 11:01 am

    I think I’ll pass on that Alan, his voice is worse than fingernails on a chalk board. I also join others wishing you and others would stop prolonging his 15 minutes of “fame” which should have been over decades ago (as it was for most of us, heh).

  14. granpa.usthai August 1st, 2014 at 11:23 am

    didn’t listen to the vid. No sense in wasting time listening to a PROMISE BREAKER who has no valid reason for being incarcerated – PROMISE BREAKER. Anyone who makes a selection of PROMISES and BREAKS ALL THE PROMISES is not worthy of human conversation. Just because he’s too cowardly to break the law enough to be incarcerated with other criminals and innocent folks who use the toilet properly doesn’t mean he should BREAK ALL P R O M I S E S !!!

  15. M D Reese August 1st, 2014 at 11:54 am

    I commend Alan for going through the interview, but I just can’t listen. Same with Palin. I can barely read transcripts of them.

    • cvryder2000 August 1st, 2014 at 2:46 pm

      I can’t listen to Palin because her voice physically hurts my eardrums. I can read what she says but it doesn’t make sense. I can’t even read what this POS says. Verbal vomit. And ugly to look at besides. As my mama, God rest her soul, would say, ugly is as ugly does.

      • Rosie Goldfarb August 1st, 2014 at 5:01 pm

        Or as my mama used to say “uglier than a mud fencepost.”

  16. Bradley Forward August 1st, 2014 at 12:01 pm

    He’s not one or the other because he;s a coward blowhard. Talks big. Means none of it.
    He’s a child molester anyways. Why give him the time of day?

  17. tiredoftea August 1st, 2014 at 12:32 pm

    SMDH! I really hope that Alan is the highest paid radio person in history.

  18. Bryan Bliss August 1st, 2014 at 1:22 pm

    Ted Nugent Declares ‘I Will Either Be Dead or in Jail’ if Obama Is Re-elected

  19. Anti-Republican August 1st, 2014 at 1:27 pm

    I thought he was supposed to leave the country. Why doesn’t he just renounce his citizenship and move in with his lover (Edward Snowden)?

    • cvryder2000 August 1st, 2014 at 2:45 pm

      Because no other country would have him, unless maybe North Korea would….

    • Rosie Goldfarb August 1st, 2014 at 5:00 pm

      That’s an insult to Edward Snowden.

  20. Herb Sarge Phelps August 1st, 2014 at 1:44 pm

    sorry but if you going to put something up for people to hear that will be super offensive, you should put up a shorter clip. I couldn’t listen to this insane nut long enough to know what he said about why he isn’t in jai. Maybe someone will tell because I can’t listen to this moron.

    • Tammy Minton Haley August 1st, 2014 at 4:59 pm

      me, either…i recommend transcription of all videos–i’ll bet next month’s food stamps most of us progressive-types cannot listen to these people…i know i can’t, and won’t…

      it’s one of the most-often cited complaints at Media Matters, too…

      i refuse to allow the aural vibe from regressive extremists in my space…it’s too negative…

    • Rosie Goldfarb August 1st, 2014 at 5:00 pm

      You mean “moran” LOL. This guy is a waste of vapor.

  21. Cat L August 1st, 2014 at 1:55 pm

    Dead would be good. Party at my house when this piece of crap dies!

    • RioBravoHombre August 1st, 2014 at 2:11 pm

      I’ll bring my new vaporizer!

  22. RioBravoHombre August 1st, 2014 at 2:01 pm

    Start with the fact that he’s an uneducated, ignorant stupid imbecile who never attended 2 years of high school. Move next to the fact that he has the maturity of a mentally challenged 5 year old. He’s a pedophile who “adopted” an underage child in order to rape and sexually abuse her. He’s an admitted draft dodger who BRAGGED about shitting his pants to avoid serving his country in a war HE FULLY SUPPORTED! He’s a deadbeat dad, who’s been dragged to court, and forced to pay for the children he fathered. He’s been convicted in multiple states of fish and game violations, and lost his right to carry firearms and hunt. I find his usage of the term “vermin” to describe Native Americans to be especially telling. Jews in Germany in the ’30’s and ’40’s were also described as ‘vermin”, it’s a tactic designed to dehumanize an opponent, in an attempt to make others view them as worthless and deserving of any and all hatred. In the 1800’s, in the USA, the term “vermin” was commonly used to describe Native Americans: the massacre perpetrated by Col. Chivington, against Natives outside of Denver was defended at the time as a necessary response to “vermin.” In Rwanda, when 900,000 were summarily slaughtered, Radio Rwanda used a similar attack, calling those they wanted massacred,”cockroaches.” Once you use this kind of “eliminationist” rhetoric, your followers don’t need to be told what to do. They implicitly understand that their enemy can be taken out with impunity. For a perfect example of eliminationist rhetoric used to perfection, one has only to look at Bill O’Reilley’s use of the term,”Tiller the Killer” against Dr. Tiller, who was then assassinated IN HIS CHURCH. Look to the O’Reilley follower who entered a liberal church in Tennessee and opened fire on the congregants gathered inside. Look to Glenn Beck’s attacks on the Tides Foundation which led a loon to arm himself to the teeth and end up in a shootout with police. Rightists have used eliminationist rhetoric to rile their supporters as long as there has been human speech, and if you don’t believe me, the ghosts of Chaney, Schwerner and Goodman will explain it to you. If you’re to young to recognize their names please google them and read how their lives were snuffed out, largely due to the rhetoric used by leaders who are too cowardly to murder themselves, so they encourage murder by others. Sorry to get long winded, but I have seen this game played, and I feel the need to fight it.

    • Colonel Klunk August 1st, 2014 at 2:18 pm

      100% agreement from me.

    • MerryMarjie August 1st, 2014 at 2:31 pm

      Thank you for your post, thank you for your research. I was pretty sure Nugent was undereducated but hadn’t taken the time to look it up. It seems a lot of wing nuts are either misinformed or half-informed on subjects and make up for the facts with half-truths and conjecture.

      • Lwayno August 2nd, 2014 at 9:42 am

        Pobre Mexico, tan lejos de Dios! Tan circa Tejas & Ted Nugent Cruz!

    • zerowolfe August 1st, 2014 at 10:03 pm

      well written post…i have noticed Bennett, an israeli cabinet member be quoted recently…”I have killed many Arabs…I have no problem with that”…O’Reilley…surrounded by henchmen…a real mental midget like his buddy Sean…nothing stupider than an ignorant Irishman!

      • Larry Schmitt August 2nd, 2014 at 10:22 am

        Ignorant Irishmen are no worse than ignorant anyone else. The problem isn’t his Irishness, it’s his willful ignorance.

    • Lwayno August 2nd, 2014 at 9:31 am

      Ted Nugent Cruz is just your average Republican!

  23. Patrick Drazen August 1st, 2014 at 2:20 pm

    As far as I can tell, he’s not even a decent enough musician to rise above the level of a garage band. Definitely not a political philosopher.

    • cvryder2000 August 1st, 2014 at 2:43 pm

      More like an “outhouse band”.

  24. mmmjv August 1st, 2014 at 3:09 pm

    So why isn’t he dead or in jail? At what point in the 33 minute video does he address that?

    • Wingsfan81 August 1st, 2014 at 5:32 pm

      I know .. I wish they had just wrote it. I’m not sitting through a 30+ minute interview of him to find out.

  25. Sko Hayes August 1st, 2014 at 3:21 pm

    He’s a dumb ass washed up guitar player striving to stay relevant in a world that’s moved on. Why are we even giving this idiot attention?

  26. meangreen1 August 1st, 2014 at 3:59 pm

    I loath, I hate, I despise, Mr. crappy poop pants draft avoiding subhuman scum sucking rodent !

  27. Richard Fitzwell August 1st, 2014 at 4:06 pm

    One thing we know for sure, Ted Nugent is a lyin’ POS. He said he crapped and pissed his pants for days to get out of the service and apparently it worked. Ted was given a status of 1 Y, later changed to 4 F, not acceptable.
    Now he claims he didn’t. So he’s lying now or earlier

    He also wrote songs stating his lust for 13 year old girls. He even got permission of the parents of a 17 year old and took legal guardianship of her.

    But it’s not surprising that conservatives fawn over this pervert. It’s quite common actually, Limbaugh, Beck, Vitter, etc. all perverts. Nugent says the things the anti-American republicans won’t say out loud.

  28. cwazycajun August 1st, 2014 at 4:13 pm

    Im suprised he has time to do interviews ..I figure he would be trolling middle and high schools for under aged girls to molest

  29. danah gaz August 1st, 2014 at 5:20 pm

    Can’t you just tell us? Do I really have to listen to the man speak – even after we had to suffer him “singing” for years? You are cruel.

  30. Wingsfan81 August 1st, 2014 at 5:31 pm

    So basically he’s admitting he’s not only an idiot, he’s a pathological liar.

  31. majii August 1st, 2014 at 6:29 pm

    Does Nugent suffer from some kind of brain damage because nothing he said in the interview made any sense at all. I’m wondering if he used some serious drugs when he was younger, and that they left him impaired and unable to think and express himself in a coherent manner.

  32. burqa August 1st, 2014 at 6:39 pm

    “Terrible Ted.”

    Best nickname since “Bye Bye Balboni.”

  33. Edward Tivrusky IV August 1st, 2014 at 6:40 pm

    “He’s a bad deceitful America hating man.”

    Just like you, Ted.

  34. Scooter Livingston August 1st, 2014 at 6:54 pm

    Please, Ted. emulate your fellow Republican, R, Budd Dwyer….

  35. searambler August 1st, 2014 at 8:17 pm

    Word salad? Nah, more like verbal diarrhea…

  36. zerowolfe August 1st, 2014 at 9:57 pm

    wish nugent could do that steve martin routine with an arrow through his head, only for real…pure unadulterated garbage…rock and roller??? try psychotic sociopath….only thing more yucky than Ted the jerk are his fans. talk about the mentally sick and lame!

  37. The_C_a_t August 1st, 2014 at 10:08 pm

    Euch. After less than a minute, I could take no more. I must bathe.

  38. fancypants August 1st, 2014 at 11:00 pm

    Even a carnival entertainer can still afford good lawyers

  39. Lwayno August 2nd, 2014 at 9:27 am


  40. DBow August 2nd, 2014 at 7:54 pm

    Might be the biggest idiot to ever get air time in my lifetime.

  41. Amy Darnell-Fuchs August 3rd, 2014 at 2:10 am

    Is he drunk?

  42. ron jon August 5th, 2014 at 7:15 am

    Ted”nutcase” Nugent!