August 2, 2014 8:05 pm -

As reported here, the co-founders of Michigan Open Carry published a children’s book describing it as a “unique kid’s book” which “will be treasured for years to come and will be passed down to new family members.”

We tend to make fun of Open Carry activists’ little peens because they make it so easy. For example, my Twitter pal CoCo noticed the protagonist’s name in the book. Richard Strong. Dick Strong.

Come on Open Carry dorks, can’t you try any harder than this:

Where is Dad’s hand in this image?

 The Amazon reviews are interesting:

This started out as a 5 Star rating, but quickly went down hill as the evening progressed.

After saying our prayers to Jesus and Charlton Heston, I sat on the edge of my kids bed to read them this book, when I shifted my position and accidentally set off my 9mil that was strapped to my hip, shooting myself in the thigh. This wouldn’t have been so bad, flesh wounds happen, other than the fact that I hit an artery and started spurting blood all over my kids Ted Nugent and Sarah Palin sheets.

4 Stars for not covering a gun’s safety in your book.

In fact, gun owners are slamming the book for not covering gun safety. FFS, it’s a children’s book. 10,000 children in the United States are injured or killed by firearms every year and the authors did not bother covering gun safety.

H/T: My pal @CMartin002 with thanks.

D.B. Hirsch
D.B. Hirsch is a political activist, news junkie, and retired ad copy writer and spin doctor. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.

54 responses to FYI: Main Character’s Name In Children’s Open Carry Book Is Richard Strong. Dick Strong

  1. NW10 August 2nd, 2014 at 8:09 pm

    • Eric Trommater August 2nd, 2014 at 8:25 pm

      Statistically though open carry costs far fewer lives than concealed weapons.

      • jasperjava August 3rd, 2014 at 12:21 am

        So far.

  2. William August 2nd, 2014 at 8:11 pm

    “The Strong Family lives in a modest home, in a medium sized town in the Midwest”.
    Found ’em

    • Mainah August 2nd, 2014 at 9:18 pm

      The look on the little girls face is like “OH Please take me with you!!!!”

  3. Tommy6860 August 2nd, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    So, I guess the illustration on the book cover suggests that mommy doesn’t need daddy for pleasure. She got a six-shooter, his is a pea shooter.

  4. edmeyer_able August 2nd, 2014 at 8:17 pm

    Bad spot for Mom to be standing, she’ll be peppered w/spent casings from Brenna.

    • mea_mark August 2nd, 2014 at 8:26 pm

      Just wait till Brenna swings around while shooting to see who is grabbing her rear end.

      • Mainah August 2nd, 2014 at 9:17 pm

        Unless this isn’t the first time. ew.

    • mea_mark August 2nd, 2014 at 8:33 pm

      Brenna’s thumb is a little high too, hope the slide doesn’t catch it, Oooch!

  5. William August 2nd, 2014 at 8:19 pm

    Um…what’s with Richards left arm in the last illustration?

    • Tommy6860 August 2nd, 2014 at 8:20 pm

      I’m telling ya, they are pervs, all of’m?

    • Roctuna August 2nd, 2014 at 8:22 pm

      My first thought too. Tommy6860 had my second thought.

    • Eric Trommater August 2nd, 2014 at 8:22 pm

      Bill Maher asked that last night. Pocket pool anyone?

    • ChrisVosburg August 3rd, 2014 at 12:16 am

      Brenna Strong says: My aim would be a lot better, Daddy, if you’d get your hand off my ass. Swear to God, old man, one of these days you’re gonna haul back a bloody stump.

  6. Eric Trommater August 2nd, 2014 at 8:21 pm

    This book is another attempt by the “scare the hell out of America” movement to try and militarize America. I’m one of those who laughs at the open carry people, but each one of the citizens who gets the crap scared out of them by this bunch of loons is a potential candidate fpr a concealed weapons permit and just sells even more guns. It’s an endless cycle.

  7. Tommy6860 August 2nd, 2014 at 8:26 pm

    Those images are really creepy. I mean, aside from the image showing daddy possibly engaging in questionable activity, what kind of gun/holster set fits on the wrist (look at the perv father’s gun location on cover image)?

  8. NW10 August 2nd, 2014 at 8:27 pm

    Will we be seeing the Muslim version, My Muslim Parents Open Carry and the main character’s name is Abdul Khaliq Sarwar?

  9. Abby Normal August 2nd, 2014 at 8:54 pm

    I saw a family like this. Mrs. Normal and I were at our local Steak ‘n Shake when in walked a guy with a semi-automatic pistol strapped to his hip accompanied by his wife and young daughter. They came inside, stood at the counter, placed their order and then went back out to their pickup and drove away. Why didn’t they just use the drive-thru? I believe it was because Daddy Dick Strong wanted to flaunt his gun in public. A lot of thoughts went through my mind when I saw these people. Daddy Dick looked like a bully. I felt sorry for his wife and daughter. They looked like a family that would fit right in at Jonestown or some other conservative, evangelical whacko snake-handling church. That poor little girl has no chance at a normal life. Surely their neighbors think they’re whackos. That girl will spend her childhood and teenage years having no friends. She will be totally isolated from society. What a tragedy. It’s a form of child abuse.

    • R.J. Carter August 2nd, 2014 at 9:23 pm

      I often go inside to order takeout instead of the drivethru. I feel less rushed that way, and I can read the menu.
      You don’t want a guy packing a gun to feel the stress of being rushed, do you?
      Aside from that: What’s up with the judging people by their very appearances? I thought we were better than that around here? You’ve taken a few moments to look at this guy’s appearance, and have predicted their religion, social construction, and domestic abusive patterns.

      • Abby Normal August 3rd, 2014 at 7:04 am

        You’re kidding me, right? You’re criticizing me because I think there’s something a bit strange about a guy who feels a need to carry a semi-automatic pistol on his hip in a restaurant and other public places?

        I’m not judging his APPEARANCE. I’m judging his BEHAVIOR and I think people carrying semi-automatic weapons into restaurants is bizarre.

        Let me repeat that. I’m not judging his APPEARANCE. I’m judging his BEHAVIOR. Other behavior I find strange is joining the KKK and parading around in a robe and pointy hat.

        This is a liberal website. I’m a liberal. I criticize someone for carrying a semi-automatic weapon in a restaurant and a moderator tells me “I thought we were better than that around here?”

        Again. I was criticizing BEHAVIOR, not APPEARANCE.

        The USA is the only developed country I’m aware of where citizens may openly carry semi-automatic weapons in public places. I’m a liberal and I think it’s a bad idea.

  10. Mainah August 2nd, 2014 at 9:15 pm

    Mom’s name is Bea Strong? Oh, and who proof read this? She has a “he mom”? And as for Dad’s hands, well the mid west must not be as wholesome as I once thought. (derp)

    • R.J. Carter August 2nd, 2014 at 9:20 pm

      Male hands are hidden consistently throughout this book. The artist has no problem drawing slender female hands (and when I say no problem, I mean they’re consistent with the rest of his anatomical drawing talents), but he must not want his big tough men to have dainty women wrists, so they’re always in a pocket or behind his back…
      …or on his teenaged daughter’s butt, apparently.

      • mea_mark August 2nd, 2014 at 9:33 pm

        Again, if you want to hide something like an inability to draw good hands, don’t draw attention to it. The artist is either not very bright or has some hidden emotional issues that are surfacing in his work, or both.

        • Mainah August 2nd, 2014 at 9:42 pm

          Well, the more I looked at it … it isn’t just his hand. Look at his body position, hips in relations to his daughter. My teen son said “Mom! I is he…. you know?” I was like doh! ew.

          • mea_mark August 2nd, 2014 at 9:50 pm

            I saw the same thing. He is awfully close.

          • Mainah August 2nd, 2014 at 9:54 pm

            I’ve shot at ranges. This is not how one would teach someone how to shoot. And like I said, Dad is dressed like a really creepy dude. I think some illustrator has issues. 😛

          • mea_mark August 2nd, 2014 at 9:57 pm

            I’ve taught a few people how to shoot. All sorts of rules are being broken. These people don’t know what they are doing, except for knowing they are making money off idiots.

          • Mainah August 2nd, 2014 at 10:14 pm

            Yes, they are. It’s really kind of sick. Preying on other people’s fear that was generated by the one’s profiting.

          • tiredoftea August 2nd, 2014 at 11:05 pm

            Joel Osteen and Rick Warren didn’t just walk into big auditorium’s did they? They started small, with just a few of the morally bankrupt and grew from there.

          • Mainah August 3rd, 2014 at 9:23 am

            It’s funny. I was raised in an Irish Catholic home, which meant you were Catholic no matter what. I remember growing up when Baker started his 700 club and his creepy wife. I asked Mom why were they dressed so fancy because aren’t you suppose to swear poverty to serve The Lord? She explained exploitation to me that day. Let’s just say I’m a woman of faith and not of organized religion. What a racket!

        • Carla Akins August 2nd, 2014 at 9:47 pm

          Or, perhaps he just sucks at illustration.

          • mea_mark August 2nd, 2014 at 9:53 pm

            That is really when the subconscious emerges in the work. The trained mind does the job, the untrained mind …

          • Mainah August 2nd, 2014 at 9:56 pm

            Well, yes but still the body position on dad is creepy. Especially if you’ve ever been to a range. Indoor or outdoor. Holding her ass isn’t going to help her aim.

          • Carla Akins August 2nd, 2014 at 10:00 pm

            I guess it depends on what he’s aiming. (omg, you made me go there!)

          • mea_mark August 2nd, 2014 at 10:04 pm

            Fire in the hole!

          • Mainah August 2nd, 2014 at 10:15 pm


          • Mainah August 2nd, 2014 at 10:15 pm

            LMAO!!!! 3;)

          • neworleans878 August 2nd, 2014 at 11:21 pm

            Naw, Mainah didn’t make you go there…it was your own perverted mind! 🙂

          • Carla Akins August 3rd, 2014 at 5:59 am

            NO!!! (hands waving in protest) When someone provides the perfect setup, it is simply wrong not to take advantage of the opportunity.

          • Mainah August 3rd, 2014 at 7:16 pm

            Really … I’m innocent I say! 3:)

        • tiredoftea August 2nd, 2014 at 11:03 pm

          You didn’t really think that Stan Lee was available for this assignment, did you?

      • Mainah August 2nd, 2014 at 9:34 pm

        Well, I can honestly say that the illustration leaves a lot to be desired. I had my oldest look at it and he was creeped out by it.

        • tiredoftea August 2nd, 2014 at 11:06 pm

          See, this damn thing is corrupting our youth already!

          • Mainah August 3rd, 2014 at 9:18 am

            He was first jumped by the cover. He kind of screamed and said “What’s wrong with their eyes???” He said it was almost as creepy as The Slender. Does this mean they’ll pay for the therapy he’ll need now? 😉

      • Carla Akins August 2nd, 2014 at 9:46 pm

        Time to share an embarrassing (not my embarrassment) story. I have an Aunt & Uncle and their devotion to their faith can be a little unnerving. Among ourselves, we refer to them as Mr & Mrs Holy Ghost. That said, they are pretty decent people, and even now after 40+ years of marriage are still really crazy about each other.

        So a few years back, my Uncle walked past the main floor bathroom and the door was open and a woman was washing her hair out in the bathroom sink. My Uncle slid in behind her, grabbed her hips and rubbed up against her. Problem was, it wasn’t my Aunt – it was a teenage friend of their daughters. In his defense, he thought the girls had left and she did look a lot like my Aunt from the back. He was completely horrified. Amazingly everyone involved – including the 17 year-olds parents were satisfied with his apology.

        Doesn’t really have anything to do with the post, just spent the whole day with my dysfunctional family.

        • Mainah August 2nd, 2014 at 10:18 pm

          I just got a visual of his face. If they’re Catholics, I’m sure he’s still saying “Hail Mary’s” with rosary beads! (and I did laugh, sorry … wicked loudly too! That would be something that would happen in my family!)

          • Carla Akins August 2nd, 2014 at 10:23 pm

            We laughed too hysterically – and so did he when he told us the story a few years later.

        • tiredoftea August 2nd, 2014 at 11:07 pm

          OK, Carla, ‘fess up.

  11. Cosmic_Surfer August 2nd, 2014 at 9:29 pm

    The moral of this story: Don’t be a Dick. Keep your guns in a safe and out of our face.

  12. mmaynard119 August 2nd, 2014 at 10:26 pm

    We know this book isn’t about someone who is tired of the Tea Party.

  13. labman57 August 3rd, 2014 at 12:34 am

    Richard Head would more suitable.

  14. MIAtheistGal August 3rd, 2014 at 8:18 am

    How long until Brenna takes one of her parents’ guns and shoots her father for constantly grabbing her ass?

  15. Shades August 3rd, 2014 at 8:54 am

    yeah, that’ll help.