August 9, 2014 4:44 pm -

In response to the 22-year-old black man police at an Ohio Walmart store shot dead while he was holding a toy gun, “CosmicKamikazi” decided to weigh in, and of course, it was deleted because he’s a total jerk, that’s why.

Let us wallow in his wisdom:

i’m sure the nigger was acting like a gangster and waving the gun around. you turds consistently act like it’s racial, but you are the ones who propagate the slurs by crying the race card. i’ve seen you monkeys in public. i’ve been a witness to how you act. i’d throw $1,000 down that he instigated the shooting and wasn’t just some ‘innocent victim’.

So let’s get this straight; while using the N word, he thinks we’re playing the race card. Isn’t he adorbs?

I’ll take that $1,000 bet, Mr. Racist Pants. You see, surveillance cameras were in place and I’m sure we’ll be able to vet them soon. If Mr. Race Card is super-cereal, I’ll take that bet. Someone neutral can hold our money and let’s get real with this bet. You see, John Crawford left behind a family and children whereas “CosmicKamikaze” will die alone.

Crawford had a reason to live, and the troll only has his mom’s computer to live for.

In response to a pastor cancelling funeral services after finding out the deceased was a gay man (gasp), “Donald 111” writes:

Marriages and funerals for queers…I don’t think so

For reals? Right, we shall throw dead gay people into the Hudson River, you know, all mafia-like, because freedom.

In response to Alex Jones alleging that Michelle Obama is a transvestite, “Stacey” wrote yesterday:

its not about racism its about fraudy governments and gay obama

[sic] [sic] [sic] [sic]

Well Stacey, Gay Obama and his Black Muslim army are comin’ fer yer guns so you’d better look out.

We have a ton of deleted comments and we would like to thank our awesome mods for sifting through the cesspool of unsavory comments in order to keep the discussion civil.

We have a new mod, R.J. Carter, who is crazy a Conservative and that said, he will keep us honest and without bias. Big thanks to @Mea_Mark, and the incomparable @CarlaAkins. And last but not least, @GrayPets and @TiredofTea, our newest additions to the mod community. Big thanks also to Epiphany.

Alan, Gonzo and I are grateful for all that you do.

D.B. Hirsch
D.B. Hirsch is a political activist, news junkie, and retired ad copy writer and spin doctor. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.

63 responses to Deleted Comments From Alleged Humans: ‘No Funerals For Queers,’ Because Derp

  1. Larry Schmitt August 9th, 2014 at 5:41 pm

    Yes, Mr. Crawford “instigated the shooting” with a toy gun. Our only hope is that this living abortion lives up to his name and flies into the Empire State Building. Without a plane.

    • raincheck1956 August 9th, 2014 at 5:46 pm

      OH….Larry, it’s you…. I thought I smelled something

      • burqa August 9th, 2014 at 6:28 pm

        [burqa puts an orange traffic cone next to Larry Schmitt so no one accidentally steps in it]

  2. Bunya August 9th, 2014 at 5:51 pm

    Oh come on now, Anomoly. We all know you have the hots for Carla and that you’re just playing favorites here.

    • Anomaly 100 August 9th, 2014 at 5:57 pm

      I love all of our mods. They do an excellent (voluntary) job. So I’m not biased. I even love our Conservative mod:-)

      • Carla Akins August 9th, 2014 at 6:05 pm

        You’ve got the hotz for me, woohoo.

        • Anomaly 100 August 9th, 2014 at 6:35 pm

          That’s right, honey!

          • tiredoftea August 9th, 2014 at 6:39 pm

            I heard that there’s a cream for that.

          • Anomaly 100 August 9th, 2014 at 6:55 pm

            Where? WHERE?

          • Carla Akins August 9th, 2014 at 7:02 pm

            Marijuana lubricant claims to give you 15 minute orgasms …

          • Anomaly 100 August 9th, 2014 at 7:30 pm

            Whooo hooo!

          • Mainah August 9th, 2014 at 9:56 pm

            Does it come with a package of Ring Dings?

          • tiredoftea August 9th, 2014 at 10:58 pm

            No, Devil Dogs.

          • mmaynard119 August 9th, 2014 at 10:00 pm

            Don’t bring any with you or the two of you will never leave the house.

          • Carla Akins August 10th, 2014 at 5:32 am

            It’ll reduce the need for bail money.

          • mmaynard119 August 10th, 2014 at 9:25 am

            If you need bail money — remember you can always call…..

            R.J. Carter.

          • Carla Akins August 10th, 2014 at 10:06 am

            that’ll be a fun call…

          • tiredoftea August 9th, 2014 at 8:24 pm

            I assume that you had that other half appletini! Gee, follow your own links, will you!

  3. KABoink_after_wingnut_hacker August 9th, 2014 at 6:10 pm

    Nice to see all the mods listed. Keep up the good work and congrats to R.J. You know for a conservative, you’re actually not too bad. 😉

  4. burqa August 9th, 2014 at 6:26 pm

    It is such a shame there is so much of this garbage for mods to wade through. I have rarely seen that sort of thing here, so that’s an indication the mods are doing a good job. Good idea for a thread, Anomaly100, because we would not otherwise be aware of work that deserves praise because we don’t see it.

  5. Linda1961 August 9th, 2014 at 6:34 pm

    Y’all have done a great job mods! It can’t be easy sorting through the slush pile to keep the discussions here intelligent and civil.

    • tiredoftea August 9th, 2014 at 6:40 pm

      Civil and intelligent is an accident.

  6. jbandsma August 9th, 2014 at 7:23 pm

    No funerals for gays? What’s supposed to happen to them? End up as stew or something?

    • dave-dr-gonzo August 9th, 2014 at 9:25 pm

      I’d nrule out the stew; you’re more likey to see a dearly departed bisque with fresh garden vegetables, cilantro, and garden herbs served with shiitake risotto and a pomegranate-infused tira misu for dessert. And a nice chiaaaanti.

      • mea_mark August 9th, 2014 at 9:39 pm

        The Chianti sure sounds good … yum …

        • mmaynard119 August 9th, 2014 at 9:58 pm

          Only with fava beans.

          • Mainah August 9th, 2014 at 10:31 pm

            I’ll give you my fava beans if you give me your Chianti?

      • Hirightnow August 9th, 2014 at 9:49 pm


  7. ChrisVosburg August 9th, 2014 at 7:26 pm

    Thanks to all mods for your good work. I’ve just inscribed your names for posterity in the concrete slab just poured out front, and if you’ll just… [prying it up] give… [oof] me… [oof] an address… [lugging to post office] I’ll send it… [oof] off to mod central. You pay shipping. [whew]

    • tiredoftea August 9th, 2014 at 8:25 pm

      Take a pic and instagram it!

      • ChrisVosburg August 10th, 2014 at 1:12 am

        Sorry, Homeland Security was contacted by the USPS at time of arrival, and has confiscated all photographs and photographic devices. and a SWAT team has been dispatched on “Operation Slab of Cement.” I’m currently in a standoff with them and they keep asking if I’ll give up the other members of my terrorist cabal.

        You guys don’t need to worry, Never! You’ll never make me talk, pork chop!

        • tiredoftea August 10th, 2014 at 1:54 am

          OK, I’ve contacted Bundy and he’ll send his spare militia to you, for freedom’s sake. Expect them any time now. BTW, can you spare some gas money for their trucks? Oh, maybe a little meal money? It’s a long trip, you know.

          • ChrisVosburg August 10th, 2014 at 8:46 am

            Was able to end the standoff by pointing a gun at my own head and growling “next man makes a move, the hippie gets it.”

          • tiredoftea August 10th, 2014 at 11:39 am

            Always works with the Feds!

    • Hirightnow August 9th, 2014 at 8:55 pm

      Screw that!
      Let’s send it on a tour of America! Think of all the photo ops of people crying at the slab, remembering their poor, doomed comments cut down by a heartless enemy in a pointless war…
      We can even get a shot of some little girl with an iPad, instagramming a pic of her late Grampaw’s comment whilst laying a flower down!
      (I will bitch-slap the first person to accuse me of making fun of the brave people on “The Wall”…I will!)

      • tiredoftea August 9th, 2014 at 9:33 pm

        Only as long as we get a slice of the proceeds from the country&western concerts (of course, the musicians will sing their specially written slab songs) and religious telethons that will sell pieces of the slab to the faithful.

        • Hirightnow August 9th, 2014 at 9:43 pm

          “Up next on our Country Countdown, Toby Keith with ‘We’re all mods’…coming in at number 5”

      • ChrisVosburg August 10th, 2014 at 11:53 am

        Fine, long as we keep it out of Houston. They do terrible things to concrete there. [singing the Pretenders’ “Break Up the Concrete”]

  8. Hirightnow August 9th, 2014 at 8:26 pm

    Two points to make;
    1)This is why I like this site more than MMfA; the mods are actually active here! (Yes, I comment more there, but you have to yell to be heard, so…)
    So what, there are ads? I don’t HAVE to click on them. (Although that one with the old white guy who supermarkets fear sometimes makes me wonder if it’s a story about open carry…). For this, I am grateful.
    2) I want $50.00 of that action, Anomaly!

    • Anomaly 100 August 9th, 2014 at 8:55 pm

      I shall send you a Soros check right now!

      • Hirightnow August 9th, 2014 at 9:13 pm

        I want it payable in Obamadollars!

        • tiredoftea August 9th, 2014 at 9:33 pm

          He’s moving to bitcoin, untraceable, you know!

          • Hirightnow August 9th, 2014 at 9:45 pm


          • tiredoftea August 9th, 2014 at 10:40 pm

            Damned Kenyan usurper.

          • Hirightnow August 9th, 2014 at 10:41 pm

            We should, as true Democrats, start impeachment proceedings!

          • tiredoftea August 9th, 2014 at 10:55 pm

            No, let’s sue him first.

        • Anomaly 100 August 10th, 2014 at 1:14 am

          I/we can pay you in Socialist dollars, because that’s how we roll.

  9. AnthonyLook August 9th, 2014 at 9:23 pm

    Tea party birther racist minions like their daily lies, they wallow in their delusions and pride themselves in writing dreadfully evil hateful comments. I like to just remind them that even among their own Republicans; they were wholeheartedly shun and Old Guard GOP candidates won in their primary elections. I will never forget the catatonic state Romney was in after he lost in 2012; obviously believing his lying campaign and his running mate Lying Ryan were going to take the day. Obviously believing their own fake polls and that their campaign lies were going to be received as readily as the lie loving tea party birther racists gobbled up each and every lie, fake scandal and fake poll. I will never forget Karl Rove having his melt down on national television on election day on Fox. His house of cards coming down because the Republican party, the Romney campaign and hacks like Rove end up believing their own lies. In 2012 the American voters rejected racism, lies, sexism, hate, prejudice, discrimination, intolerance, theocratic religious fascism and voted Republicans DOWN and after the election the Republicans learned nothing and instead dug in their lying heels and doubled down on their vacuous do nothing out of ideas party before nation policies. Between now and this coming election in November when these liars who can’t even win in their own primaries will realize what the term reality means (once again); we should encourage their hate, their lies, their divisiveness, their callous and selfish justification— so that the voters come in huge numbers. We will wait the long hours, we will wait the long lines, we will vote out the most Republicans that this nation has ever witness. Remember, Americans are good, kind hearted people and Republicans aren’t Americans anymore.

    • ChrisVosburg August 10th, 2014 at 1:24 am

      Pretty sure your heart’s in the right place, although it’s hard to tell, given the run-on nature of your writing. Might be better to collect your thoughts first, and then put ’em to print.

  10. Mainah August 9th, 2014 at 9:44 pm

    Thanks live human moderators that have a wicked sense of humor. I appreciate what must be at times a real suck job. While some stupid can be seemingly harmless fun, an over abundance must be hazardous to one’s sanity. Thanks for sharing the fun stupid ones! And adorbs isn’t the word I would use for Cosmic “lovemuffin”. But I’ve been told I’m opinionated and extremely blunt. 3:)

    • Hirightnow August 9th, 2014 at 9:48 pm

      Isn’t this so much nicer than, well, “You Know Who” running rampant on the thread with tales of his stolen avatar’s animal lust?
      I swear, if David doesn’t start policing that site, I’m gone.
      And I’ll take all of my pithy and erudite commentary with me!

      • Mainah August 9th, 2014 at 9:53 pm

        Yes indeed! And the mods are wicked funny! I even had a civil disagreement with someone who didn’t get all nasty on me!
        OH my word and “He who shall not be named” is on full vile mode, too. I just got a relevant video marked as spam while he’s making repetitive middle finger art while trashing poor TFE. I’m getting sick of it! So glad you told me about FON and Liberaland! Thank you! Thank you!!!

        • Hirightnow August 9th, 2014 at 9:55 pm

          Was that you?
          Well, you’d have found this site eventually, bein as how ya wicked smaht, n’all…
          But glad to help.

          • Mainah August 9th, 2014 at 9:58 pm

            Yes, me and a few others like Tammy. I’d like to think I’m smahtah than the av’rage beah!

          • Hirightnow August 9th, 2014 at 10:07 pm

            You’d be rahthah clevah ta think that way, is all I’m sayin’….
            (Seriously, Mainah, we got a good site here, with decent mods, Alan goddam Colmes( who I once thought of as a patsy ), and some of the smartest people who ever learned to type. Even the few cons who frequent this site are civil, learned, and not only able to take criticism, but also not gloat when they’re vindicated because their argument holds water…
            You know…
            Actual CONSERVATIVES!
            I just hope I don’t tick any of the mods off…you know me!)

          • Mainah August 9th, 2014 at 10:27 pm

            Looks like they can hold their own! But I am liking it. I know, right? Real conservatives. I don’t hear people discussing large horned, endangered African mammals here. As an indie, I am tickled! I look forward to hearing what a real conservative thinks instead of a ranting lunatic who just says “cuz ‘murica”. OH, and that Mark Henry guy is getting on my nerves. He’s got that “Cooter done got you good” mentality but lacks facts. Or my fave, posts a link that doesn’t back up his own point.

            This was me:


          • Hirightnow August 9th, 2014 at 10:36 pm

            I feel ya.
            Enjoy the low-key atmosphere: It’s like watching a Transformers movie at full volume, then sitting down to an episode of Firefly on regular..

          • Mainah August 9th, 2014 at 10:49 pm

            I loved Firefly, by the way and have yet to see one of the Transformers aside from trailers. If you think about your comparison, Firefly was funny, witty, thoughtful, suspenseful and provocative while Transformers is thrashing, crashing, expected clichés. What an apt analogy. You are good sir!

          • tiredoftea August 9th, 2014 at 10:57 pm

            OK, you two, get a room!

          • Mainah August 10th, 2014 at 12:00 am

            Baahaahaaa!!! We are just giddy with real mods!

          • tiredoftea August 10th, 2014 at 1:51 am

            It’s a low bar to entry, so stay calm.

          • mea_mark August 10th, 2014 at 11:13 am

            I will give you warning, don’t worry. 🙂

  11. fahvel August 10th, 2014 at 3:00 am

    well hell, it’s ok – these folks think along the same line a great hollywood mind – ya know, voigt, woods (noodles:love it), mackenzie etc.