September 1, 2014 9:14 am -

While a Colorado woman was texting and driving, she hit a pole that went through her car, piercing her thigh and buttocks. In order to get the woman out, Elizabeth firefighters had to saw off the front and back end of the pole.

Christina Jahnz explained that she was in the parking lot of Elizabeth Middle School on Wednesday morning because her daughter forgot her saxophone at home. As she was driving away from the school, she started texting her friend, 9 News reports.


[su_center_ad]”I was running late for a business meeting, so I did a voice text. I looked down to make sure it was all right. The next thing I knew, I was looking up, there was white powder from the air bags deployed,” Jahnz said.

The guardrail pole went through the front of Jahnz’s truck, through her buttocks and into the back of her seat. Firefighters were dispatched to the scene, where she says they used a saw to cut the front and back end of the pole before rushing her to the hospital.

“I went into surgery and I lost count of the stitches after 40. They stitched me up inside too. I’m truly a miracle. They said if it gone just a little bit the other way I would have bled out,” Jahnz said.

Jahnz was released late Sunday night after a four day stay in the hospital. She is expected to make a full recovery but will need the assistance of a walker for the time being.

Jahnz said, “It’s devastating knowing that I could have prevented it to begin with. I just hope my story helps to save the lives of others. Don’t text and drive.”

Watch courtesy of KUSA:

H/T: My BFF @ComgenKDT and my buddy @TomCinmidlife with thanks.[su_sky_ad]

D.B. Hirsch
D.B. Hirsch is a political activist, news junkie, and retired ad copy writer and spin doctor. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.

25 responses to Woman Impaled In Buttocks After Texting While Driving

  1. edmeyer_able September 1st, 2014 at 9:22 am

    Glad she survived that ordeal. After seeing that pole I’m wondering if there will be a lawsuit over that?

    • Anomaly 100 September 1st, 2014 at 9:27 am

      I don’t think a pole can sue.

      • edmeyer_able September 1st, 2014 at 9:30 am

        On the contrary I knew a Pole who sued and got a huge Czech.

        • Sydney September 1st, 2014 at 9:33 am

          budda bump…..

        • rg9rts September 1st, 2014 at 9:50 am

          Okay guys time for your meds

        • Anomaly 100 September 1st, 2014 at 10:02 am


        • uzza September 1st, 2014 at 10:52 am

          I was too late, but Iran to stop that Turkey before Egypt him.

  2. MarcoZandrini September 1st, 2014 at 9:33 am

    Darwin at work – missed it by that much!

  3. Sydney September 1st, 2014 at 9:34 am


  4. rg9rts September 1st, 2014 at 9:49 am

    Tough way to learn a hard lesson. The up side is she didn’t kill someone ….yet

    • mea_mark September 1st, 2014 at 10:36 am

      Yeah, band lessons can be a real pain in the A$$.

    • Larry Schmitt September 1st, 2014 at 11:06 am

      But did she learn a lesson? I’d be willing to bet she would do the same again.

      • edmeyer_able September 1st, 2014 at 11:09 am

        Best way not to use the phone while driving is to put it where it can’t be reached while in the drivers seat.

  5. Larry Schmitt September 1st, 2014 at 11:05 am

    Stupidity is its own reward.

    • Dwendt44 September 1st, 2014 at 2:00 pm

      Or it’s own punishment.

  6. Christopher Alan Shaner September 1st, 2014 at 11:09 am

    Lol Religious nut thinks it’s a miracle. If she crashed her car and it went airborne then hovered for a moment in mid-air then sure then I’ll agree that a miracle happened. This lady got fucked-up in a crash, I don’t understand why she thinks it a miracle.

    • Larry Schmitt September 1st, 2014 at 11:35 am

      You can say it defies odds that she wasn’t more seriously hurt, but surviving an act of your own idiocy is not a miracle. Possibly it’s a miracle she has lived this long in the first place.

  7. tiredoftea September 1st, 2014 at 12:31 pm

    “…Don’t text and drive.” the “No, Duh” quote of the week.

  8. Billy Jackson September 1st, 2014 at 2:46 pm

    A shame someone has to get hurt to understand texting while driving is a pain in the ass.

  9. Par4thecourse September 1st, 2014 at 3:10 pm

    Bad arse woman texting and driving got the shaft.
    Don’t text and drive.

  10. labman57 September 1st, 2014 at 3:21 pm

    Time for a new PSA:
    “This is your butt on DUCT” — driving under the compulsion of texting.

  11. cecilia September 1st, 2014 at 6:26 pm

    now THAT is some comeuppance !

  12. atunionbob September 1st, 2014 at 7:24 pm

    God taught her a lesson. The only miracle that occurred is that the Dr paid attention in Medical school. She is damn lucky is all that really is true. That woman needs her drivers license taken away for life for texting and driving. Think if it was a school bus or a group of kids on the sidewalk she hit instead. Stupid broad!!!!

  13. fahvel September 2nd, 2014 at 4:34 am

    clarifies the expression “asshole”.

  14. fancypants September 2nd, 2014 at 6:33 pm

    a true definition; pain in the but