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September 9, 2014 9:36 pm - NewsBehavingBadly.com

Pat Robertson knows who is blessed and who is not. And if you are “fully armed” you are “blessed.”[su_center_ad]

On Tuesday, the preacher argued that more guns in churches is a good idea” to protect Christians because the “fully armed” are “blessed.” Robertson did not indicate where, exactly, Jesus said that — but he claimed that “Violent attacks and even deaths on church property occur far more often than people realize,” which necessitates good, God-fearing Christians decking themselves out with their favorite killing tools.

“It’s Sunday morning and they sing hymns and they praise the Lord and you listen to a sermon, good or bad, and you shake hands with your neighbors, and it seems like the one place in America you’d think you’d be safe: a church,” Robertson fearmongered. “But sadly, that isn’t always true.”

“The good news: you can protect yourself. What are you going to do? You’re going to give church members AK-47s at the door to let them blow away those intruders?”

Robertson then went on to rewrite the Bible:

“What is the new Beatitude? Blessed are the fully armed for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven,” the 700 Club host said. “I really believe that if the bad guys understand that the citizenry are able to react against them then they won’t be as free to go into a crowded mall or a school or a church and start blowing people out.”

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D.B. Hirsch
D.B. Hirsch is a political activist, news junkie, and retired ad copy writer and spin doctor. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.

42 responses to Pat Robertson: ‘Blessed Are The Fully Armed’

  1. Larry Schmitt September 9th, 2014 at 9:42 pm

    The lord helps those who arm themselves.

  2. William September 9th, 2014 at 9:57 pm

    Thanks Reverend Pat, for reminding us that Jesus was the greatest American that ever lived.

    • Larry Schmitt September 10th, 2014 at 7:04 am

      Wasn’t he on Miami Beach to meet Columbus when he landed on Old Ironsides?

      • William September 10th, 2014 at 7:28 am

        Yes he was, I see you’re well versed in ‘Murican History.
        Well done citizen….well done.

        • Larry Schmitt September 10th, 2014 at 7:35 am

          As the future Senator Blutarski said, “Did we give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? No!”

  3. Red Eye Robot September 9th, 2014 at 10:19 pm

    It’s so precious how Pat Robertson is still the monster under the bed for liberals 25 years after he was politically relevant.

    • Tommy6860 September 9th, 2014 at 10:21 pm

      lolwut?

    • Hirightnow September 9th, 2014 at 11:36 pm

      As precious as people still believing in a shepard’s god, 2000 years after their shamen came down from “the mount” and told them that “GAWD” said that they should give the priests the best part of their harvests and kine?

    • tiredoftea September 10th, 2014 at 12:37 am

      As long as he insists on sharing his stupid in public, he’s more than fair game for commentary.

  4. Tommy6860 September 9th, 2014 at 10:21 pm

    But Jesus said, “Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.”

    • William September 9th, 2014 at 10:24 pm

      Think about it.

      • whatthe46 September 9th, 2014 at 10:54 pm

        that certainly deserves a big ZING!!!!

      • Red Eye Robot September 9th, 2014 at 11:59 pm

        Socialist Jesus sermon on the mount: “Blessed are the bureaucrats for they shall regulate, and they alone should decide what your child eats for lunch. And blessed are the tax collectors for they shall seize thine wealth by force so that my prophet Obama may vacation in a manner befitting his greatness. And blessed are the foodstamp recipients for they my exchange their EBT for cigarettes and beer instead of feeding their children”

        • Dwendt44 September 10th, 2014 at 12:28 am

          Jesus was clearly a socialist. He practiced ‘Communalism’, which was the forerunner of Communism. Karl Marx used the bible as one of his sources when he formulated Marxism.

        • tiredoftea September 10th, 2014 at 12:36 am

          No, sorry. That’s GOP Geebus on Fraud Spews reciting that script.

        • granpa.usthai September 10th, 2014 at 6:36 am

          EBT -reminds me of a thought I ‘ve been tossing around. There are a lot of kids and street people going around hungry ’cause they don’t have a kitchen to prepare their meals in. Why not issue them a REM card they can use 3X a day? A country as rich as US could certainly afford it and it would be good for the economy. It’s good for the future as more people would be healthier in the long run. Crime would be reduced as folks with full bellies are usually in a more peaceful mood. Maybe even have a once or twice a month meal at a nice restaurant. A happier life makes for a happier citizen.

      • granpa.usthai September 10th, 2014 at 6:25 am

        walking around in the daytime with your hoodie down and NOT WHITE does seem to attract attention.

    • Hirightnow September 9th, 2014 at 11:33 pm

      Tommy6860wins the thread, with extra points for irony.

    • granpa.usthai September 10th, 2014 at 6:22 am

      uh, does Jesus really have to aim to hit the target?

  5. whatthe46 September 9th, 2014 at 10:55 pm

    LORD HAVE MERCY ON THE STUPID.

  6. Hirightnow September 9th, 2014 at 11:31 pm

    Why, oh WHY does this man always look like he’s straining on the pot?
    Is it the sh!t he keeps producing?
    ( I SWEAR TO WHATEVER GOD, this guy cannot do twenty seconds on video without closing his eyes and scrunching his face!)

    • Dwendt44 September 10th, 2014 at 12:25 am

      Constipation?

      • granpa.usthai September 10th, 2014 at 6:47 am

        doubtful, as he strongly favors the political party of Ted Nugent. Don’t matter one bit to them, in fact, some of the ones already in Government positions is right proud about it. – May explain why they smile so big?

    • granpa.usthai September 10th, 2014 at 6:44 am

      most likely he’s trying to unload all the sh*t he kan now. Where he claims to be going they ain’t got no sh*tters.

      not even one gold painted porta-john for the whole dang city!

  7. peacedreamer September 9th, 2014 at 11:59 pm

    Wouldn’t it be nice if Pat was truly visited by Jesus & had to publicly reveal the vast wealth he has acquired while grossly distorting his teachings? Possibly maybe Jesus would deal with him very swiftly? The heavy foot of grand cosmic karmic? What goes around comes around. Face your pitiful disharmonic music Mr Robertson. Here’s a toast to your learning….cheers!

  8. juicyfruityyy September 9th, 2014 at 11:59 pm

    It is time to find him a Nursing Home.

    • fahvel September 10th, 2014 at 2:12 am

      broken park bench

  9. Abby Normal September 10th, 2014 at 12:09 am

    Dr. Quincy called, Pat. You’re late for your autopsy.

  10. Dwendt44 September 10th, 2014 at 12:29 am

    Jesus did tell his followers to sell their clothes and buy a sword (weapon).

    • fahvel September 10th, 2014 at 2:11 am

      I’d like to see pat waving a sword while stark naked – yuck, that image makes me want to go outside and……

    • Linda1961 September 10th, 2014 at 6:43 am

      He also told one of his followers to put up his sword after said follower cut off the ear of one to guards who came to arrest Jesus.

      • Dwendt44 September 10th, 2014 at 12:38 pm

        Curious, since any assault on a Roman soldier is reason for instant death.

        • Logan B. September 10th, 2014 at 3:46 pm

          Wow, you are actually educated on ancient Roman law? Where did you study these ancient Roman laws and can you quote them?

          • Dwendt44 September 10th, 2014 at 3:54 pm

            Not specific knowledge, but I’ve read enough about the Romans and their arrogance to figure that any infraction, especially harming one of their soldiers by a rabble/rebel would result in heavy retaliation.
            You don’t seriously think that the sword owner would just get to walk away do you?

    • Logan B. September 10th, 2014 at 3:45 pm

      Yet Jesus and apparently none of his apostles carried a sword. Yet somehow he was all about packin.

      • R.J. Carter September 10th, 2014 at 3:52 pm

        That’s because when Peter needed a sword, he simply took one off the hip of the law enforcement agent.

      • Dwendt44 September 10th, 2014 at 3:55 pm

        You don’t know that. We only are getting a self serving version of the story, and that’s assuming any of it’s true to begin with.

  11. tiredoftea September 10th, 2014 at 12:40 am

    Yeah, Pat, there are horrible atrocities happening in churches. Dr. Tiller comes to mind. Killed while at church by one of your followers. Little girls killed in a church bombed by one of your followers. MLK killed by one of your followers. People in Selma and Birmingham beaten and killed by lot’s of your followers. Hmm, maybe they all should have been armed to protect themselves from your followers.

  12. fahvel September 10th, 2014 at 2:10 am

    now this thing is an actual psychopath with a tv show – bad tv may be the norm where I am but to have scum like this on public airwaves is an insult to any thing with a mind – suggesting he is mindless scum.

  13. wpadon September 10th, 2014 at 6:04 am

    According to Pat then, William Hayden of “Sons of Guns” is blessed. Nice

  14. granpa.usthai September 10th, 2014 at 6:52 am

    wouldn’t kool aide be cheaper and less messy?

  15. Jeffrey Samuels September 20th, 2014 at 3:03 pm

    blessed are the fully footed as they are shoe ins in heaven