September 12, 2014 7:16 pm -


DETROIT — They might not get an “A” for anatomical correctness, but the people responsible for using weed killer to leave a 100-yard depiction of male genitalia on a Monroe County high school football field could get a lesson in criminal justice. The damage at the Bedford High School field has forced district officials to relocate…


D.B. Hirsch
D.B. Hirsch is a political activist, news junkie, and retired ad copy writer and spin doctor. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.

26 responses to Weed Killer Used To Make Image Of Male Genitalia On Ball Field

  1. Anomaly 100 September 12th, 2014 at 7:23 pm

    I see no problem with this.

    • craig7120 September 12th, 2014 at 7:31 pm

      4 shame ‘aly

      • mea_mark September 12th, 2014 at 8:21 pm

        If somebody did something like this in a cornfield Anomaly would probably have an orgasm.

        • burqa September 12th, 2014 at 8:35 pm

          I have a friend who lives on a large farm and has bushhogged some crop circles that look really cool when viewed on one of those satellite view websites.

          • Carla Akins September 12th, 2014 at 8:43 pm

            Now if they had cut the design into the grass, that would have been impressive.

          • ChrisVosburg September 13th, 2014 at 9:59 am

            It is a point of pride for the groundskeepers of Major League Baseball to create various stripes, checkerboards, argyles (!), or other effects in the grass they tend, using nothing more than a mower and roller.

            I have for years been doing the same thing with a Hoover on the carpet in my apartment. I’m getting quite good at it, and am thinking of going pro.

          • Carla Akins September 13th, 2014 at 10:16 am

            Yeah, I need you to bring your Hoover over and prove it. 🙂

          • ChrisVosburg September 13th, 2014 at 10:23 am

            That’s a Hooverin’.

          • Carla Akins September 13th, 2014 at 10:35 am

            I’ll just be sitting here on my computer with my 6 pack of Boulevard Harvest Wheat – looking at my dirty carpet.

          • mea_mark September 13th, 2014 at 10:44 am

            Now that is an awesome beer.

          • Carla Akins September 13th, 2014 at 10:56 am

            Swing on by, I’ll share.

          • ChrisVosburg September 13th, 2014 at 10:58 am

            It’s in the wonderful Rancho Deluxe (1975) that Harry Dean Stanton delivers the deathless line: Miz Brown told me to Hoover the Navahos, meaning vacuum the rugs.

            Highly recommended, a young Jeff Bridges and Sam Waterston as his native american pal, rustling cattle in contemporary Montana. Also Jimmy Buffett before he went parrot.

            Check it out, after you Hoover.

          • mmaynard119 September 14th, 2014 at 9:24 am

            Carla – Hoovering has two meanings. Both have to do with applied suction. One is applying it to inanimate objects, such as rugs. The other is applying it to someone’s inanimate object, such as Bob’s and Mark’s.

          • ChrisVosburg September 13th, 2014 at 9:46 am

            Bushhogged. My word for the day, thank you for that. Can’t wait for the next opportunity to use it in conversation down the pub.

  2. craig7120 September 12th, 2014 at 7:30 pm

    I bet I know who did it, prolly one of those boys that was raised by a parent who walked around nekkid all time.
    Damn kids, get off my lawn!

  3. ChrisVosburg September 12th, 2014 at 7:40 pm

    Ordinary table salt works quite well for this, and pours nicely and evenly from the pop-up tin spout on the large cardboard cylindrical container to make detailed line drawings. Also has the advantage of taking a few days to gradually kill the grass it was dumped on, making the image slowly appear over the course of the week.

    By the way, how come there aren’t any pics? Dick-pics or it didn’t happen!

    • burqa September 12th, 2014 at 8:32 pm

      Ask the Carthaginians.
      While the weed killer will probably dissipate so much in the soil as to be no problem in the future, I wouldn’t say that about salt. Doing something like that to soil is just plain vile.

      • Carla Akins September 12th, 2014 at 8:43 pm

        I tried salt in my gravel drive in the hopes it would do some serious damage but no luck. I have to use weed killer, I guess because they’re weeds.

      • ChrisVosburg September 13th, 2014 at 9:43 am

        Salt is not particularly toxinogenic, unless of course you are a blade of growing grass, in which case you will become brown and withered under a heavy concentration.

        Salt naturally is present in soil, just not at such a high concentration. Subsequent watering will bring the green back, as the salt fades below the root level– thus I consider this to be an, ah ha ha, greener approach than weed killer.

        Don’t cry for me, Augustina… 🙂

  4. whatthe46 September 12th, 2014 at 8:09 pm

    10,000.00 for sod and grass?

    • mea_mark September 12th, 2014 at 8:17 pm

      Digging up and replacing is a lot of labor and it has to come out right. It is not like your average everyday lawn.

    • uzza September 12th, 2014 at 9:05 pm

      Sod off. You wouldn’t say that if you’d ever had to haul that stuff around. It’s sodding HEAVY.

      • ChrisVosburg September 13th, 2014 at 9:16 am

        Oy, poor sod.

  5. Chinese Democracy September 12th, 2014 at 9:05 pm

    LOL that is funny .. great way to start my weekend. Ok Im growing older but Im not maturing heh

  6. juicyfruityyy September 12th, 2014 at 9:47 pm

    “Parents need to talk to their kids about what they see on the Internet and what they’re choosing to do,”
    it allegedly, was a parent involved in the prank. Maybe, they need to spend some time educating the parents. I agree with some criminal charges. They need to know that some pranks have consequences.

  7. Um Cara September 13th, 2014 at 9:02 am

    You said ‘ball’ field…. heh heh heh…