September 16, 2014 10:10 pm -

A Texas teenager is facing a felony charge after police say he rubbed his private parts on a customer’s pizza and was caught in the act.

18-year-old Georgetown resident Austin Michael Symonds is charged with one count of tampering with a consumer product.

[su_center_ad]According to the felony complaint, a customer called in to order pizza from Papa Murphy’s on September 2nd. When he walked into the restaurant, he saw Symonds rubbing his testicles on the family sized pizza he ordered.

The customer told police he asked Symonds how old he was, according to MyFoxChicago.

“18,” Symonds responded.

“So you are old enough to know better than to put your balls on someone’s pizza,” the customer said.

Symonds apologized to the customer, but he explained to his manager that he did it because the customer called in the order right before closing.

Symonds was immediately fired. The company issued the following statement:

“On Sept. 2, 2014 one of our employees was found in violation of food safety practices and was immediately terminated. It’s our policy to maintain stringent food safety practices to maintain high quality products and ensure the safety of our customers. We are reviewing this policy with all employees to uphold the high standards our customers expect.”

Detectives say the teen told then that he would have probably given the pizza to the customer if he hadn’t been caught.

Symonds was released from jail after posting bond. He faces between two and 20 years and a fine not to exceed $10,000, if convicted.

FOX 32 News Chicago

As it happens, when @CarlaAkins sent me this link, I was eating pizza. Not anymore. Thanks a lot Carla! [su_csky_ad]

D.B. Hirsch
D.B. Hirsch is a political activist, news junkie, and retired ad copy writer and spin doctor. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.

35 responses to Texas Worker Charged After Rubbing His Man Parts All Over A Customer’s Pizza

  1. Tommy6860 September 16th, 2014 at 10:18 pm

    Maybe they ran out of pepperoni :p.

    • M D Reese September 16th, 2014 at 10:26 pm

      I can only hope the cheese was hot enough to burn him. There’s just nothing about this story that doesn’t make me gag.

      • Tommy6860 September 16th, 2014 at 10:28 pm

        Cheese? No, I won’t go there :P.

        • whatthe46 September 16th, 2014 at 11:33 pm


        • M D Reese September 17th, 2014 at 1:43 pm

          I used to work in the restaurant business–I NEVER eat out.

      • whatthe46 September 16th, 2014 at 11:31 pm

        unfortunately, its the kind of pizza place that only prepares your pizza, you take it home and cook it.

        • Tommy6860 September 16th, 2014 at 11:44 pm

          Never had Papa Murphy’s and never will. Had two of them near where I live, they didn’t last too long.

          • M D Reese September 17th, 2014 at 1:41 pm

            I’m guessing we may know WHY they didn’t last…

        • M D Reese September 17th, 2014 at 1:41 pm

          I guess I was too busy gagging to catch that…Bummer!

    • MarcoZandrini September 17th, 2014 at 8:43 am

      Nah, that would have been Vienna sausage!

  2. M D Reese September 16th, 2014 at 10:24 pm

    Oh gag me. I gave up eating out years ago. I’m feeling pretty smug about that now.

  3. tiredoftea September 16th, 2014 at 10:28 pm

    Texas is overtaking Florida as the WTF capital of the U.S.

  4. whatthe46 September 16th, 2014 at 10:32 pm

    people on his facebook page (’cause ya know he has one) should flood him with disgusting remarks and unfriend this nasty bastard. shame him past stupid if possible.

  5. Stacey Hall September 16th, 2014 at 10:47 pm

    I bet he gets less time than the kid who posed with the novel character.

  6. Kingminnie September 16th, 2014 at 11:10 pm

    Well, you know, right before closing time?? Wtf stupid customer. Probably shoulda put booggers on it too.

    What a great example of our future leaders. Probably end up governing the secessionist country of Texas.

  7. juicyfruityyy September 17th, 2014 at 12:06 am

    Wow! Screwing a pizza gets you more time in jail than cold-blooded murder. But what could )we say-Texas. This has more to do with lost of business (money). It is like finding a finger in Wendy’s chilli. Who will trust their food? I wouldn’t get there.

    • whatthe46 September 17th, 2014 at 12:14 am

      much like the guy who just ate his girlfriends’ brain, he only served 12 yrs for one murder including the attempted murder of his own mother
      by shooting her in the back.

  8. Billy Jackson September 17th, 2014 at 1:39 am

    The kid should have just said the customer ordered a Meat Lovers Pizza.

    • whatthe46 September 17th, 2014 at 2:59 am

      ba zinga! ~ sheldon, big bang theory.

  9. Deborah September 17th, 2014 at 1:47 am

    This is the generation where everyone got a trophy, everyone got a certificate for trying, for participating. Entitled little shits.

  10. raincheck September 17th, 2014 at 7:05 am

    Maybe he thought they ordered it with “fromunda” cheese

  11. Jake September 17th, 2014 at 7:24 am

    If he did that to a pizza, I shudder to think what he would do to a calzone.

    • The Postman September 17th, 2014 at 12:14 pm

      You win the internet today.

      • Jake September 17th, 2014 at 8:53 pm

        Thank you. I shall handle it with care.

    • Cat L September 18th, 2014 at 8:31 am

      Maybe they could make a move about it and call it “American Calzone.” Oh, wait ……..

  12. Skydog2 September 17th, 2014 at 8:33 am

    “he would have probably given the pizza to the customer if he hadn’t been caught” – probably?

  13. Lucas September 17th, 2014 at 11:49 am

    Wait wait, between 2 and 20 years? Isn’t that a bit on the extreme side?

    • MookieMu September 17th, 2014 at 12:35 pm

      The laws against tampering with products you ingest, were made more stringent after the tylenol/cyanide incidents in the 80’s. Tampering with indigestibles are now a felony offense, even if it’s just his balls.

  14. M D Reese September 17th, 2014 at 1:42 pm

    I flip him the bird every time his commercials come on.

  15. Bunya September 17th, 2014 at 2:59 pm

    Whoever heard of Papa Murphy’s? Is that some sort of Irish pizza? Now, if it were Papa John’s, you’d be thankful if all you found was someone sticking his balls in the cheese. Anyway, since this happened in Texas, this boy will probably get the chair.

  16. Adam P Smith September 17th, 2014 at 3:55 pm

    Idiot! And I can’t find a job, fast food or otherwise.

  17. rg9rts September 17th, 2014 at 4:18 pm

    Paps Johns will hire him

    • whatthe46 September 17th, 2014 at 8:10 pm


  18. Alex Aponte September 17th, 2014 at 5:38 pm

    No sausage or Pepperoni ok.

  19. Cat L September 18th, 2014 at 8:29 am

    Shouldn’t it be “boy parts?”