September 20, 2014 8:07 pm -

fantasy_ninja_woman_wallpaper[su_right_ad]Yes. You read that correctly.

Two armed “polygamist women” dressed like “ninjas” were subdued by a sword-wielding man during a home invasion , according to police in suburban Utah.

Police said the two women, aged 18 and 22, were attacking the home of a witness and victim in a criminal child sex assault case against a man the women called their “husband”.

The women “violently attacked one of the adult males in the house who came to see who was coming,” Ian Adams of the West Jordan police department told the Guardian.

“Another adult male joined the fray in defense of the first male victim. He was armed with a sword, and using a sword … and with the other male [was] able to subdue the two women until police arrived and took them into custody.”

The attack took place just before 4am on Friday. The child witness was home but was not involved in the incident, Adams said.

The two women are in custody at Salt Lake County Jail. Neither their names nor mugshots, nor the name of the “husband”, are being released, because to do so could identify the child victim.

[su_r_sky_ad]I had not been aware that ninjitsu was popular among Mormons!

The women are both charged with aggravated burglary, aggravated assault and witness tampering, all felonies. After the attack, Adams said, “the two female suspects claimed to be the wives of the male who’s sitting in custody on the child sex offenses”.

“I’ve never seen anything like this in my career,” said Adams. “I have a feeling that as this investigation progresses we’ll have more details. It’s still kind of fresh.”

Adams said he could not provide any further information about the type of sword that had been used to subdue the women.

West Jordan is a suburb of Salt Lake City, and is home to about 110,000 people, according to the US Census Bureau.

Plural marriage was practised in Utah by members of the Mormon church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, until the 1890s, when it was rejected by the church and banned by the state.

In August, an appeals court in Utah partially lifted the ban, allowing a man and a woman to marry and live with others they consider “spouses”, after a lawsuit by stars of the cable network show Sister Wives.


D.B. Hirsch
D.B. Hirsch is a political activist, news junkie, and retired ad copy writer and spin doctor. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.

16 responses to Polygamist Ninja Women On Rampage

  1. dave-dr-gonzo September 20th, 2014 at 8:11 pm

    Liberaland intends to be your best source for polygamist ninja woman headlines. That’s our pledge to you, dear reader!

  2. Kick Frenzy September 20th, 2014 at 8:12 pm

    Polygamist Mormon Ninja Avengers… GO!

  3. Anomaly 100 September 20th, 2014 at 8:16 pm

    I *knew* this was one of Dave’s posts when I read the headline.

  4. juicyfruityyy September 20th, 2014 at 8:29 pm

    So where are those Christian values?

    • Spirit of America September 20th, 2014 at 10:26 pm

      A lot of people asked a similar question, “So where are those Atheistic values?” when Jeffrey Dahmer was convicted…

      • tiredoftea September 20th, 2014 at 11:22 pm

        A Catholic, BTW.

        • Spirit of America September 20th, 2014 at 11:25 pm

          as a child was catholic, then turned atheist and was atheist at time of all of his killings.

          • Red Mann September 21st, 2014 at 1:20 am

            False equivalence, Atheism is not an ideology, just an argument against the, unsupported, existent of a god or gods. Atheists themselves cover the entire spectrum of humans from good to evil, they just don’t use the concept of god(s) to justify their behavior.

            “With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.”
            ― Steven Weinberg

          • fahvel September 21st, 2014 at 4:49 am

            you glow with ignorance.

          • Jester1137 September 22nd, 2014 at 1:44 pm

            “Yeah, you damn us for burning witches, but look at all the evils committed by people who don’t believe in witches!!!”

    • Dwendt44 September 20th, 2014 at 11:58 pm

      Mormon? Mormons aren’t christions.

      • Jester1137 September 22nd, 2014 at 1:42 pm


        People who worship Christ, think he was the Son of God, and that he died for their sins aren’t Christians.

        No True Scotsman fallacy, sorry.

  5. Obewon September 20th, 2014 at 8:35 pm

    Salt Lake City must be a booming Mecca for girl on girl Ninja adult films!

  6. Spada September 20th, 2014 at 8:35 pm

    Failed being a ninja by getting caught

  7. tiredoftea September 20th, 2014 at 10:47 pm

    Well, there goes my last hope for dating ever again!

  8. JimmyPete September 21st, 2014 at 8:02 am

    They should convert to Rasta, a little ganja in the evening and all will be mellow