October 13, 2014 11:05 am -

[su_right_ad]How sad is former future Republican President Mitt Romney’s life now? Reduced to the emcee slot for Iowa’s Deliverance candidate for Senate, Romney cracked an Obama joke on Sunday that looks lame on paper, but is downright tragic on video. The National Journal‘s Shane Goldmacher helpfully posted a transcript of Romney’s joke, which is making the rounds on the interwebs on this slow news Columbus Day. Here it is in its entirety, save the sad trombone sound that science hasn’t figured out how to spell yet:

President Obama went to the bank to cash a check and he didn’t have his ID. And the teller said you’ve got to prove who you are.

He said, “How should I do that?” She said the other day Phil Mickelson came in, he didn’t have his ID but he set up a little cup on the ground, took a golf ball, putted it right into that cup so they knew it was Phil Mickelson. They cashed his check.

And then Andre Agassi came in. And Andre Agassi didn’t have his ID either. He put a little target on the wall, took a tennis ball and racquet– hit it onto that target time. We knew that was Andre Agassi so we cashed his check.

And she said to him, “Is there anything you can do to prove who you are?” And [Obama] said, “I don’t have a clue.”

And she said, “Well, Mr. President, do you want your money in small bills or large bills.”

Aside from the fact that this joke seems to be mostly plagiarized from Republican voter I.D. model legislation, it’s a great illustration of the GOP base, who are the only people who still think you go to “banks” and cash “checks,” and that Andre Agassi is still a thing.

On video, though, the thing gets exponentially sadder, as you see that Romney is performing his joke at a Joni Ernst rally that appears to be taking place in the food court of District 13, and the geniuses in the crowd don’t know when to laugh. I’ve bolded the punchline above so you can compare it to when the audience loses its shit…READ MORE


D.B. Hirsch
D.B. Hirsch is a political activist, news junkie, and retired ad copy writer and spin doctor. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.

24 responses to Watch: What’s Dumber Than Mitt Romney’s Obama Joke? The Crowd Listening To It

  1. R.J. Carter October 13th, 2014 at 11:23 am

    I lol’d.

    • Anomaly 100 October 13th, 2014 at 11:39 am

      I LOLed at Tommy’s closing line at the Daily Banter:

      “Stop me if you’ve heard this one: Guy walks into a presidential campaign, twice…”

      • Larry Schmitt October 13th, 2014 at 1:49 pm

        OT, but this is one of my favorite jokes.
        Two dyslexics walk into a bra. They were walking abreast.

        • searambler October 13th, 2014 at 2:23 pm

          Did you hear the one about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac?
          He used to lie awake all night wondering if there really is a dog…

          • Anomaly 100 October 13th, 2014 at 4:21 pm


          • Tommy Christopher October 14th, 2014 at 12:15 pm

            Buddhist goes up to a hot dog stand and says “Make me one with everything.”

          • Anomaly 100 October 14th, 2014 at 3:38 pm

            On a side note, do Buddhists eat hot dogs? Can’t get the picture out of my head now.

        • Anomaly 100 October 13th, 2014 at 7:31 pm

          MUCH better than Mitt’s joke!

  2. eddie1247 October 13th, 2014 at 11:36 am

    Rest assured stand up comedians, there is no competition here.

  3. KABoink_after_wingnut_hacker October 13th, 2014 at 11:41 am

    When you bring nothing to the table, have no ideas and can only cast invented aspersions, I guess the lame and derogatory shtick is all republicans have.

  4. LiPao October 13th, 2014 at 12:08 pm

    Q: Why can’t Mitt Romney change a light bulb?
    A: He doesn’t know which way to turn.
    Being lame is easy.

  5. StoneyCurtisll October 13th, 2014 at 12:15 pm

  6. fredoandme October 13th, 2014 at 12:16 pm

    wah, wah, wah, waaaah….
    sad trombone sound.

  7. tiredoftea October 13th, 2014 at 12:20 pm

    Joni Ernst must really be feeling the heat from Braley if she brings the Mittster to help her campaign.

  8. Abby Normal October 13th, 2014 at 12:24 pm

    Here’s Romney telling his stupid joke.

    • StoneyCurtisll October 13th, 2014 at 1:23 pm

      I was looking for the link~!

  9. NW10 October 13th, 2014 at 12:31 pm

    • StoneyCurtisll October 13th, 2014 at 1:26 pm

      Sponge Bob in 2016~!

  10. edmeyer_able October 13th, 2014 at 12:36 pm

    I wonder if anyone reminded the crowd that mittens would be in the Cayman Is. or Switzerland if he were cashing a check at his bank?

    • Larry Schmitt October 13th, 2014 at 1:02 pm

      And chances are, he would send his man to do it. People like him don’t mix with the common folk, even in St. Moritz.

  11. William October 13th, 2014 at 1:39 pm

    Hey Mitt, don’t give up your day job.

  12. williamedward October 13th, 2014 at 2:18 pm

    Who says Republicans have no humor? Most of the planet, actually.

  13. whatthe46 October 13th, 2014 at 4:52 pm

    now that was seriously stupid. i mean seriously.

  14. Commodore October 13th, 2014 at 5:55 pm