Ocean Sex Leads To Man’s Penis Getting Stuck
[su_r_sky_ad]Since we have been remiss in bringing you, dear reader, our usual quota of genitalia-related headlines, we are pleased to relate this tale of lovemaking gone horribly amiss:
It sounds like a spell you’d learn in sex-ed at Hogwarts, but “penis captivus” is a real – if rare – medical condition, as one hapless Italian couple learned this week.
Via The Local:
…the amorous couple were making the most of a warm day, and a practically deserted beach, when they decided to take a dip in the ocean at Porto San Giorgio to express their love.
But their lovemaking came to an embarrassing end when the man was unable to extricate himself from the woman due to suction… They remained in the water until they caught the attention of a woman walking along the beach, who gave them a towel after they struggled back to the shore.
A doctor was called and they were taken to a hospital emergency room. There the woman was given an injection usually used to dilate the uterus of pregnant women, in order to untangle the couple.
It bears mentioning that inextricability “due to suction” is an altogether different mechanism for penis captivus than that proposed by Dr. John Dean, Clinical Director of Gender and Sexual Medicine for Devon Partnership NHS Trust in southwest England:
What… is likely to happen is that when the penis is within the vagina it becomes increasingly engorged. The muscles of the woman’s pelvic floor contract rhythmically at orgasm… While those muscles contract, the penis becomes stuck and further engorged within [the vagina] until the muscles relax, blood can flow out… the penis… the penis starts to go down after orgasm and the man can withdraw.
In other words, they should have stuck to sex on the beach. The drink, not the act.[su_center_ad]
R.J. Carter October 18th, 2014 at 4:08 pm
If “due to suction” lasts longer than four hours, consult a physician.
Anomaly 100 October 18th, 2014 at 4:12 pm
Yay for penis stories!
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 4:22 pm
question should be, will it happen again.
Anomaly 100 October 18th, 2014 at 4:29 pm
Another penis story here? Sure, we did tons of them on FON. We might as well corrupt LL, too:-)
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 4:39 pm
question: nothing to do with any of the articles so pardon me. but, do you know how i go about developing an app?
Anomaly 100 October 18th, 2014 at 4:45 pm
I’m a tech-dummy. I can ask around though.
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 4:51 pm
please do, i would so appreciate it. thanks a million.
Anomaly 100 October 18th, 2014 at 4:57 pm
Sure, no problem.
mea_mark October 18th, 2014 at 5:13 pm
You can start here and decide if it is something you really want to do. http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/228328
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 5:14 pm
i’ll give it a go. thanks.
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 5:27 pm
checked it out. it gives insightful advice except the one thing that concerns me. outsourcing. it is fine, but how do you protect your idea? that’s the frightening part, especially if you believe in your product. as i do.
mea_mark October 18th, 2014 at 5:43 pm
Secrecy is best. Other than that legal issues can be complicated. My brother made some apps by himself so secrecy worked with a simple copyright. If you are looking for outside help, be careful. This might help … http://www.appempire.com/top-5-legal-issues-facing-app-developers/ I am no expert, far from it, just some talk with my bro here and there.
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 5:55 pm
checking it out now. you guy are great to help.
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 6:13 pm
that’s a good one for the legal aspect. i’ve already downloaded the NDA and it talks about copyrights and LLC’s. something to help protect your idea. its a start.
Spirit of America October 19th, 2014 at 7:14 am
Completely describe your product/idea/mechanics on what it’ll do and how it will do it. Type it out, sign it w/one witness. Mail it to yourself and never open it unless needed(you can do it twice, one to your lawyer if you have one, or to another family member telling them to never open it either). It is valid as ‘who had the idea first’ in a court(USPS cancellation date on stamp).
Then, still being careful, seek out independent programmers, keeping log/records of all calls/emails, etc.
I would help more, but know of no way to exchange email/phone numbers via here.
Good luck and pursue it, if you think it’s a good idea, chances are many others would too!!
Anomaly 100 October 18th, 2014 at 5:44 pm
I just asked three different bloggers I know and they all came up empty. I’ll keep asking around though:-)
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 5:54 pm
such a sweetheart. much appreciated.
Anomaly 100 October 18th, 2014 at 7:40 pm
I just asked John Prager with AATTP and he has no idea either. Still working on it!
Denise October 18th, 2014 at 4:15 pm
hahahahaha! i’m stuck for words
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 4:20 pm
that sucked!
Obewon October 18th, 2014 at 4:22 pm
If your ocean sex lasts longer than 4 hours call in a stimulating expert to immediately relieve tension.
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 4:27 pm
say Obewon, how long do you think she walked funny after this?
veggiedude October 18th, 2014 at 4:32 pm
where’s the shark when you need ’em?
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 4:36 pm
laughing his fin off?
rg9rts October 18th, 2014 at 5:00 pm
Vaginismus is very painful but not as common as you are made to believe
Linda1961 October 18th, 2014 at 6:07 pm
Yay! A penis story!
Budda October 18th, 2014 at 6:45 pm
This never happened to me. I mean sex in the ocean…or on the beach or, well you know
tracey marie October 18th, 2014 at 9:08 pm
She just does her kagel exercises daily
searambler October 18th, 2014 at 9:58 pm
Knowledge is good.
Boehner-Monkey October 18th, 2014 at 10:07 pm
This is clearly Obama’s fault. We gotta sue the President.
burqa October 18th, 2014 at 10:43 pm
Soooooooo, uh, Gonzo, you got the phone number of that woman? I’d like to meet her, just for, uh, scientific purposes…..
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 10:53 pm
men.
KB723 October 19th, 2014 at 1:09 am
Maybe take the back door next time???