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October 21, 2014 8:00 pm - NewsBehavingBadly.com

Welcome to the NRA edition of guns aren’t really guns. You see, Bill Johnson, creator of imbecilic National Rifle Association videos, says he hopes to “Demystify Guns” in their new video because of the many “dust ups” over the new open carry laws, Crooks And Liars reports.

 

[su_center_ad]Johnson took on open carry critics, saying, “Somehow we have completely dehumanized gun violence, and have instead humanized guns. Guns kill. Guns strike fear. Guns intimidate. Seriously? They’re just bits of plastic and metal.”

Media Matters reports, ‘ Johnson stated that he is “baffled by why society is so damn afraid of” open carry and attributed concern about the practice to “our irrational, media-fed hysterical fear of guns.” According to Johnson, guns “are no more capable of intimidation than my vacuum is capable of cleaning my house, or my lawn mower is capable of mowing my lawn.”‘ (my bold)

My cat disagrees. Vacuum cleaners are cats’ mortal enemies.

Watch courtesy of Media Matters:

Johnson said he hopes,”we can have a civic debate over something other than those intimidating, scary, pesky things we call guns.”

As it happens, Johnson owns a tactical gear company.

I’m wearing my shocked face.

Johnson went on to say, “Recently in my community there has been a little bit of a dust-up over a law-abiding citizen enacting his right to open carry.”

“I’m not going to get into the details, because they honestly don’t matter. What matters is that he is a law-abiding citizen who did not violate any laws,” he said while disregarding those who break said laws. But he knows a guy…

He continued, “What I have noticed is that the response to his decision has been pretty rabid. In particular, we have seen countless letters to the editor, newspaper headlines and social media posts that have vilified his decision to do this thing which he is legally entitled to do. In particular, there has been a lot of accusations of fearmongering.”

IKR? So much fearmongering. For example, C.J. Grisham of Open Carry Texas recently called Malala Yousafzai, the young Noble Peace Prize winner, who was shot in the head, a “twit.”

There are so many examples I could link to of responsible, nice guy type NRA supporters, but I’ll just leave this image here:

Nope. No fearmongering there at all. As for guns not “striking fear,” Eric Frien would probably disagree. And of course, his last name is Johnson. Commence with the penis jokes. [su_csky_ad]

 

D.B. Hirsch
D.B. Hirsch is a political activist, news junkie, and retired ad copy writer and spin doctor. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.

21 responses to NRA: Guns Aren’t Scary At All Because They Are Just Like ‘Vacuum Cleaners’

  1. Suzanne McFly October 21st, 2014 at 8:10 pm

    What about all those magic guns that somehow jump out of their secured housing and magically pull their own trigger and kill an “innocent” human?

  2. tiredoftea October 21st, 2014 at 8:12 pm

    According to Johnson, guns โ€œare no more capable of intimidation than my vacuum is capable of cleaning my house, or my lawn mower is capable of mowing my lawn.โ€, OK, a couple of questions for you. Why don’t your OC buddies strap vacuums and lawn mowers to their shoulders to protest not being able to carry pistols rather than the rifles they do carry? Next, which brand of vacuum cleaner or lawn mower killed the 30,000 or so people who were killed with the harmless and inanimate guns you prefer? Oh, and how many people committed suicide with lawn mowers and vacuums?

    I await your prompt response.

    BTW, while you’re thinking about that, what about the many children who kill others kids with vacuum cleaners?

    • Anomaly 100 October 21st, 2014 at 8:24 pm

      I’d pay to see that.

    • Tommy6860 October 21st, 2014 at 9:19 pm

      Gun nuts have all kind of analogies and it is limitless. It’s not only lawn mowers and vacuum cleaners, but swimming pools, automobiles, cracks in concrete sidewalks, ad infinitum. FFS, how these bozos can even perform simple math is the real question.

      • tiredoftea October 21st, 2014 at 9:38 pm

        IKR? Everything but their penis replacements are more dangerous!

    • Dwendt44 October 22nd, 2014 at 12:54 am

      Somehow, waving a vacuum cleaner in someones face just doesn’t seem all that intimidating. A gun would be a lot different.

  3. tiredoftea October 21st, 2014 at 8:12 pm

    According to Johnson, guns โ€œare no more capable of intimidation than my vacuum is capable of cleaning my house, or my lawn mower is capable of mowing my lawn.โ€, OK, a couple of questions for you. Why don’t your OC buddies strap vacuums and lawn mowers to their shoulders to protest not being able to carry pistols rather than the rifles they do carry? Next, which brand of vacuum cleaner or lawn mower killed the 30,000 or so people who were killed with the harmless and inanimate guns you prefer? Oh, and how many people committed suicide with lawn mowers and vacuums?

    I await your prompt response.

    BTW, while you’re thinking about that, what about the many children who kill others kids with vacuum cleaners?

  4. ExPFCWintergreen October 21st, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    The right of the people to keep and bear Hoovers shall not be infringed.

    • Chinese Democracy October 21st, 2014 at 8:16 pm

      LOL … genuinely funny

    • Tommy6860 October 21st, 2014 at 9:16 pm

      My vacuum cleaner sucks :P.

    • StoneyCurtisll October 21st, 2014 at 9:30 pm

      But what about the right to carry an Electrux?
      This kicks it up a whole other notch..;)

    • StoneyCurtisll October 21st, 2014 at 9:31 pm

      http://antiqueoutings.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Electrolux-Model-30-Vacuum-Cleaner.jpg

      But what about the right to carry an Electrux?
      This kicks it up a whole other notch..;)

      • Tommy6860 October 21st, 2014 at 9:40 pm

        Well, that looks likes a penis extension, except it can’t shoot loads. ๐Ÿ˜› On the bright side for the nutters, it does suck.

      • Anomaly 100 October 21st, 2014 at 9:51 pm

        That’s very penis-y.

  5. ExPFCWintergreen October 21st, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    The right of the people to keep and bear Hoovers shall not be infringed.

  6. Electriq October 21st, 2014 at 8:37 pm

    When people are desperately attempting to ignore the obvious difference between a gun and a vacuum cleaner, I suppose they would be capable of saying some incredibly stupid things.

    He’s a good case in point.

  7. Abby Normal October 21st, 2014 at 8:51 pm

    If guns are the same as vacuum cleaners, then guns suck.

  8. StoneyCurtisll October 21st, 2014 at 9:25 pm

    Hey Bill Johnson…
    That vacuum cleaner nozzle you are holding to your crotch is as humanized as your gun..
    Both of them seem to make you feel good about some childhood obsession you seem to equate both of them as being…

  9. William October 21st, 2014 at 10:16 pm

    My dog would argue with this guy.

  10. KB723 October 21st, 2014 at 10:18 pm

    Guns, Vacuums, Drones, Pot Edibles, Taxes, Rich People, Election, Smog, Tainted Water, Ebola, Comedy, Soap Operas, Sports, Rocky Road Ice Cream, Bottled Water, Volbeat, Vans Tennis Shoes, Pajamas, Art Layout, Deadline, Posturing, Voting, Dick Cheney, Democrats, Whole Wheat, Hat, Weekends, Lunatic Fringe, Tom Petty, Republicans, Coffee, Phone Bill, Sunglasses, Toothbrush, Guitar Strings, Bose Speakers, Pencil, Camera, HiSpeed Internet, Mtn.Bike, Windows, Clouds, Death, Pollution, Red Carpet, Milk, DVD, Listening, Walking, Typing, Crawling, Scratching, Laughing, Crying, Tuesday, Running…… PRETENDING!!!
    http://www.byebyedemocracy.org/2014/10/new-video-shows-us-airdropped-weapons.html

  11. Dwendt44 October 22nd, 2014 at 12:55 am

    Very few people have been killed with vacuum cleaners. Somebody might have tripped over one and died, or one might have fallen out of a window somewhere and fell on a person below and killed them, but on average, I’d say guns have killed a few more people than the average Hoover.