November 7, 2014 12:08 pm -

[su_right_ad]I knew there was a reason I prefer Dunkin’ Donuts.

A New York pastor pushed the bonkers idea this week that Starbucks uses the semen of “sodomites” in its lattes. Pastor James David Manning went on a bizarre, minutes-long rant on the subject on his online show, and cited an article that claimed the exact opposite of what he said it did.

Manning was going off an Inquisitr article titled “Were Semen Samples Really Found In Starbucks Drinks Nationwide, Initiating An FDA Investigation?” The answer is of course no, it was based on a hoax story, but Manning apparently didn’t read beyond the headline as he ranted on and on about how “a lot of body fluids are exchanged” at Starbucks locations.[su_csky_ad]

D.B. Hirsch
D.B. Hirsch is a political activist, news junkie, and retired ad copy writer and spin doctor. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.

35 responses to NY Pastor: Starbucks Uses ‘Semen From Sodomites’ In Drinks

  1. granpa.usthai November 7th, 2014 at 12:16 pm

    a local area Taco Bell busted a kid here while back for Republicanizing the sour creme used in their products. It was kept as low keyed as possible -never made the LL Headlines that I know of. They lost a lot of business for a while, except for the after Sunday morning crowd. God works in mysterious ways – and with both sexes too!

    • Spirit of America November 7th, 2014 at 1:30 pm

      one idiot not too long ago lost his job at, i think it was, burger king…. took a bath in their sinks and posted it on facebook….

  2. tiredoftea November 7th, 2014 at 12:16 pm

    I used to go there to drop off semen, but stopped when I discovered the sperm bank!

    • Larry Schmitt November 7th, 2014 at 12:50 pm

      What kind of interest do you get on your deposits?

      • R.J. Carter November 7th, 2014 at 12:56 pm

        I’ve heard he has a bad habit of not making sure his deposits clear before he withdraws.

      • tiredoftea November 7th, 2014 at 1:12 pm

        If I were getting interest on my deposits, I wouldn’t be going there, would I?

        • mmaynard119 November 7th, 2014 at 9:13 pm

          T2 is now the proud parent of a field of watermelons.

    • mmaynard119 November 8th, 2014 at 5:28 pm

      Isn’t it an Import/Export Bank?

  3. R.J. Carter November 7th, 2014 at 12:43 pm

    Soylent Cream?

    • Kick Frenzy November 7th, 2014 at 1:49 pm

      RJ wins

  4. Larry Schmitt November 7th, 2014 at 12:49 pm

    Don’t get too comfortable with DD. I heard they actually dunk their penises in the coffee.

    • R.J. Carter November 7th, 2014 at 12:56 pm

      That explains the constant screaming I hear from behind the counter.

    • Spirit of America November 7th, 2014 at 1:27 pm

      OOOWWWWW! That would hurt, not to mention there is a better place to warm it up…

    • Hirightnow November 7th, 2014 at 1:33 pm

      As long as you don’t let them put sugar and milk in your coffee…GODS, they put about 1/2 a pound in last time I said yes…also, I think my cup of milk was contaminated with coffee.

    • fahvel November 8th, 2014 at 3:50 am

      probably only once though.

  5. M D Reese November 7th, 2014 at 1:03 pm

    I hope that Starbucks sues his ass.

    • Republicans_are_Evil November 7th, 2014 at 1:46 pm

      They have a strong case.

  6. jasperjava November 7th, 2014 at 1:13 pm

    You know, that explains a lot…

  7. Hirightnow November 7th, 2014 at 1:31 pm

    WTF is it with these people and their fascination with kinky sex/perversion?

  8. Bunya November 7th, 2014 at 1:34 pm

    I thought by caramel mocha latte has been tasting “different” lately.

  9. rg9rts November 7th, 2014 at 2:10 pm

    And here I thought that the religious loons were below the Mason Dixon line

  10. whatthe46 November 7th, 2014 at 3:17 pm

    this nasty thing and pat robertson need to get a room. perverted little bastards. d’ck and sex on the brain with men are constantly on the minds. geez.

  11. mfr4 November 7th, 2014 at 3:27 pm

    Where does this madness come from? How do you make this up? I honestly don’t understand.

  12. Ol Blue November 7th, 2014 at 3:58 pm

    This ominous bit is on their website so…………..

    New Fizzio™ Handcrafted sodas. Made just for you.

    New Fizzio™ Handcrafted Sodas are caffeine free and contain no
    high-fructose corn syrup, no artificial flavors and no preservatives.

    At participating stores.

    • Spirit of America November 7th, 2014 at 5:56 pm

      see if they have a protein gm per serving….

      • Ol Blue November 7th, 2014 at 6:36 pm

        I can’t bring myself to do that but we all know that sodomites produce a high protein count. It may depend on if you order the grande, the venti, or the vati.

        • Spirit of America November 8th, 2014 at 7:24 am

          lol, oh good lord, why did I post…?

  13. tracey marie November 7th, 2014 at 4:08 pm

    That really made me chuckle. Why the hell are all those jesus freaks so afraid of coffee?

  14. Suzanne McFly November 7th, 2014 at 5:11 pm

    I am willing to bet he would ask for a double shot latte of semen coffee.

  15. Dwendt44 November 7th, 2014 at 7:18 pm

    Why read past the headlines?

    You’d be surprised to know that there are many ministers and priests that haven’t read toe bible either.

  16. SkarekrowHorrifik November 10th, 2014 at 1:33 am

    Is THAT why the menu down the street from that prison in California read “Cuppa CHINO”? Typo my ass!

  17. Nicolas Fouquet November 10th, 2014 at 1:40 am

    Religious types are usually delusional, this is just more odd than we see every day.

  18. Brent Futrell November 10th, 2014 at 1:57 am

    I truly believe it is the clergy who have the highest level of perversion in their delusions, followers only delight in what is a titillating experience for them come every Sunday.

  19. terry November 10th, 2014 at 8:38 am

    1947: Manning was born on February 20, 1947, in Red Springs, North Carolina.
    1978: He spent about three and a half years in prison in New York and Florida for burglary, robbery, larceny, criminal possession of a weapon, and other charges before his release in 1978.
    1985: In his theological group study tour of Africa in 1985, Manning visited both Liberia in West Africa, founded by former African-American slaves, and apartheid-era South Africa.
    2004: According to Manning, he attended the Oxford Round Table in 2004.
    2008: Among other accusations, he called Obama’s mother “white trash” for becoming pregnant by a black man out of wedlock, an issue he discussed during a press conference at the National Press Club on December 8, 2008.
    2010: In May 2010, Manning staged a show trial of Barack Obama at his ATLAH church in Harlem for wire fraud, with Manning acting as prosecutor.
    2013: In 2013, Manning accused Obama of having a “love child” and then shooting the mother outside the White House.
    See moreMore on Wikipedia

  20. terry November 10th, 2014 at 8:39 am


    (mb-sl, -sl)
    1. A stupid or silly person; a dolt.
    2. A person whose mental acumen is well below par.
    3. A person of moderate to severe mental retardation having a mental age of from three to seven years and generally being capable of some degree of communication and performance of simple tasks under supervision. The term belongs to a classification system no longer in use and is now considered offensive.
    adj. also im·be·cil·ic (mb-slk)
    1. Stupid; silly.
    2. Well below par in mental acumen.