November 12, 2014 7:30 am -

A Methodist Church in Ohio is clowning around for Jesus. No, seriously. I’m not sure that Clowns for Christ (not pictured) actually thought this out. John Wayne Gacy springs to mind. I suffer from coulrophobia so I might be a tad bit biased.


[su_center_ad]Judy Zyvith said she’s been “clowning around for Christ” for about 17 years.

Zyvith explained that the clowns have offered children’s messages with “Jonah and the Whale,” “The Lord’s Prayer” and “Jellybean Prayer.”

I’m picturing a scary clown playing Jonah and the story has a totally different ending in my head.

For children, the clowns dress up but appear without makeup. “We’ve found many children are afraid or intimidated by the makeup,” Zyvith said.

It’s not just kids. I hate, hate, hate clowns. Chances are if a man dresses in a clown costume then he’s someone’s creepy uncle.

Accordign to Zyvith,  the clown costume serves to “break down barriers.” “You can do anything in a clown costume,” she said.

She’s never heard of Killer Clowns obviously. They too, feel like they can do anything.

“This is a way for me to show my heart for God and my church family,” she said. “I think people deal with a lot of stuff in their lives,” and she said the clowns’ message may make them happy.

No, it really won’t. Imagine if Jehovah’s Witnesses dressed as clowns, too, while knocking at your door with that creepy smile on their faces. I’m not a violent person – in fact, I’m a pacifist, but I’d be tempted to punch them in the throat.

Zyvith told that she recites this prayer to start presentations. “Heavenly Father, this I pray. Let me bring joy to someone this day.”

Then go away.

H/T: @ComgenKDT with thanks.  [su_csky_ad]

D.B. Hirsch
D.B. Hirsch is a political activist, news junkie, and retired ad copy writer and spin doctor. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.

15 responses to ‘Clowns For Christ’ Is An Actual Thing

  1. Tommy6860 November 12th, 2014 at 8:14 am

    Oh the desperation due to the dwindling flocks.

    • M D Reese November 12th, 2014 at 4:35 pm

      Let me see if I can work up a little tear drop…

  2. R.J. Carter November 12th, 2014 at 8:15 am

    In before the easy layup.

  3. Carla Akins November 12th, 2014 at 8:31 am

    After Pennywise, you would be a fool not to fear them. Just thinking there may be a better way to reach children than clowns.

    • M D Reese November 12th, 2014 at 4:35 pm

      Especially if you try to teach your children to beware of strangers–I’ve always thought that clowns AND Santa impersonators were creepy.

      • Carla Akins November 12th, 2014 at 4:48 pm

        Me too. I have this whole rant about how we force our children to affectionate to those they consider strangers.

  4. Maxx44 November 12th, 2014 at 9:02 am

    Oh, the irony.

    • Budda November 12th, 2014 at 9:26 am

      I am thinking the same thing. So many Xtian clowns.

    • M D Reese November 12th, 2014 at 4:33 pm

      (They don’t know how mirrors work.)

  5. Cosmic_Surfer November 12th, 2014 at 10:01 am

    Clowns are friggin’ scary to little children but then maybe that’s appropriate. I ran scared from the Methodist Church with good reason

    ***Edit – if one actually understands “Methodism” they would run too – Institutionalizing religious dogma as OCD

  6. tiredoftea November 12th, 2014 at 12:09 pm

    So much stupid, so little time.

  7. Ol Blue November 12th, 2014 at 1:36 pm

    The clowns have taken over Congress so they may as well take over religion too. In Clown We Trust. We’re doomed!

    • M D Reese November 12th, 2014 at 4:31 pm

      It’s time to reissue the three dollar bill!

  8. fancypants November 12th, 2014 at 7:44 pm

    No, it really won’t. Imagine if Jehovah’s Witnesses dressed as clowns, too

    Since Jehovah’s witness is mostly sponsored by corporations The clown outfits would be a welcome sight. sort of like coming out of the closet

  9. mmaynard119 November 14th, 2014 at 10:07 am

    Is this the “think tank” that Ben Carson is going to run?