January 20, 2015 9:00 pm -

[su_right_ad]You think anyone can jump in to the 24-hour cable news game? Let’s see how well ISIS does.

According to various Israeli and international news outlets, ISIS, whose violent takeover of the Middle East is matched only by its slickly-produced videos and social media presence, plans on launching the Islamic Caliphate Broadcast, which will air “round-the-clock news and commentary that supports its jihadist ideology.”

The channel allegedly already has at least one talking head: British captive John Cantile, who recently filmed a propaganda piece for ISIS, might host his own show. Haaretz also reports that another show, “Time to Recruit,” will teach people how to recruit young Muslims into ISIS, which would be adorable if it weren’t run by bloodthirsty rapist terrorists.

ISIS has already captured an FM station in Mosul, and according to Vocativ, has been actively seeking media and technology-savvy recruits to run the station. They also launched a shiny teaser video with the announcement, and will potentially livestream the station on (The site is currently dark.)

Somehow, the term “talking head” seems all-too-appropriate.[su_csky_ad]

D.B. Hirsch
D.B. Hirsch is a political activist, news junkie, and retired ad copy writer and spin doctor. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.

17 responses to ISIS To Launch Cable Channel

  1. Suzanne McFly January 20th, 2015 at 9:19 pm

    I wish them as much success as the palin network.

    • tiredoftea January 20th, 2015 at 10:22 pm

      The NRA’s sportsman channel tried really hard to get them.

  2. Jake January 20th, 2015 at 9:22 pm

    Will John McCain be appearing on their pledge-drives?

  3. Boehner-Monkey January 20th, 2015 at 9:24 pm

    I have a hunch they may have connectivity issues.

  4. Obewon January 20th, 2015 at 9:52 pm

    The ISIS Pox channel begins prayers with ‘Pox & Friends’ sunsets with The Pox Five, signing off with Megyn Pox.

    • dave-dr-gonzo January 20th, 2015 at 9:54 pm

      And don’t forget their top-rated prime time show, “The O’Jihad Factor”.

  5. dave-dr-gonzo January 20th, 2015 at 9:53 pm

    It’ll be a lot likeGlenn Beck;s channel The Blaze, only with real blazes.

  6. William January 20th, 2015 at 9:53 pm

    The programming should be interesting

    • Bunya January 20th, 2015 at 11:34 pm

      LOL! I’d like to see their harb (Arabic for war) SuperBowl commercials.

  7. tiredoftea January 20th, 2015 at 10:23 pm

    They are learning indoctrination and extreme propaganda from Murdoch.

  8. William January 20th, 2015 at 11:19 pm

    Will they have interviews?

    • rg9rts January 21st, 2015 at 9:09 am

      With the beheaded

  9. Abby Normal January 21st, 2015 at 2:26 am

    Why not? FOX attracted a huge audience with nut-job anchors and content.

  10. ExPFCWintergreen January 21st, 2015 at 8:49 am

    I’ll be watching “Shariah Eye for the Straight Guy” for tips on how to accessorize my face mask and RPG

  11. rg9rts January 21st, 2015 at 9:09 am

    NOW LIVE FROM SYRIA a beheading by Jihad John

  12. mea_mark January 21st, 2015 at 10:10 am

    I get the feeling the studios won’t last very long. The moment they are up and running they will be an obvious target.

  13. fahvel January 21st, 2015 at 1:39 pm

    you all sound so sure of their failure – somewhat akin to the grand success of your own right wing war machine. They may do quite well – why not?