God, Guns and Gadsden Flags: Delusions Of The Modern Conservative
[su_center_ad]Infiltrating conservative groups and pages is a requirement for a successful liberal troll. Our mission is to find and expose the ludicrous ideals and ridiculous rantings of the extreme-right-winger.
At first it was interesting. Peering into the delusional minds of people who will believe anything an internet meme tosses their way. Here’s a perfect example:
[su_right_ad]Apologies for the fuzzy image. Apparently ignorance comes with a lack of photoshop skills.
This meme, posted on the Facebook page Eagle Rising is a perfect example of just how silly the conservative mind can be. It’s not very difficult to tear it apart, being that it’s completely ridiculous. To date it has nearly 20,000 shares.
After more than a year of working my way through conservative ranks, goating 26 pages and writing more than 50 “trolls,” (most of which were lost when I was kicked off of Facebook for harassment), I had to step away from the stupidity, opting instead to write about it from afar.
Fortunately, for liberal trolls and writers, conservatives never disappoint when it comes to providing us with material to report on and poke fun at. When a slow news day happens, we can always open the drawer of deftness and pull out the mantra that defines the modern delusional conservative:
God, Guns and Gadsden flags.
God.
God covers oh-so-many issues for conservatives. Gay marriage? God. Abortion? God. They’ve even managed to find a bible passage that allows for the vilification of the poor and hungry:
Ha. There you have it, poor folks. Wrapped up in an obscure passage from the Old Testament is proof positive that God hates poor people. Forget about all those things Jesus Christ believed about feeding the hungry, healing the sick and clothing the poor.
God also hates gay people. Leviticus says so:
Leviticus 18:28 clearly states “a man shall not lie with a male as one does with a woman. It is an abomination.”
Game, set and match gay people. God hates you.
Unfortunately for this guy Leviticus 19:28 forbids tattoos.
God is also very pro-life. He knew you in the womb. Thou shalt not kill. Love thy unborn neighbor.
Christians will do whatever is necessary to protect life, because all life is sacred.
If a Muslim has an abortion does it still qualify as murder?
The conservative use of God as a political tool is puzzling until you understand that conservatives will use whatever they’re told to use by the corporate masters who own them.
Guns.
Guns can be tied in with God, since God wrote the second amendment. On the other hand, the modern conservative gun culture is just about the greatest example of hypocrisy available.
Guns can be used to defend yourself and your home:
Protect life at all costs, unless you need to shoot somebody. Your gun is also available to defend your rights against the evil government. Kill as many of them as you like when the revolution comes, God will understand:
Yes, we live in a society where a man can be choked to death for selling cigarettes but this guy can point a loaded weapon at federal agents and go safely home:
Add to all of this the fact that nobody wants to take their guns away and what you have is the kind of propaganda necessary to keep people voting Republican.
Gadsden flags.
The “patriots” of the next revolution have taken an American symbol of freedom from oppression and twisted it into their very own modern-day swastika:
You’ll find it at all Tea Party rallies, million-man marches that consist of 14 people on Hoverounds outside the White House and flying proudly next to the confederate flag in trailer parks all across America.
The only plus to the use of the Gadsden flag is the plethora of rebuttal images you’ll find posted by liberal trolls when they’ve reached an impasse while arguing with a conservative. Typically about three sentences in:
And of course my personal favorite:
When you’ve spent the kind of time I have in conservative circles there comes a point when the hate and disgust turns to pity. Most of these people are simply misled, dumb as stumps and indoctrinated with a philosophy that makes them believe they are true patriots who love their country.
They certainly do love their country, there’s no question about it. The problem is in doing so they tend to hate everything else.
mea_mark January 25th, 2015 at 11:14 am
If it wasn’t for cognitive dissonance, there wouldn’t be any thinking at all coming from the right.
Great post @BustaTroll
Dwendt44 January 25th, 2015 at 11:21 am
the bible doesn’t mention abortion but it does say to sell your clothes and buy a weapon.
dave-dr-gonzo January 25th, 2015 at 12:01 pm
Where in the almighty name of Clint Eastwood are you gonna holster that weapon if you’re nekkid? Seems like a certain Judeo-Christian Diety didn’t think that one through…
Jeff Childers January 25th, 2015 at 2:56 pm
It… kinda does, but nothing saying it should be outlawed specifically until you get into some *deep* interpretation of symbaholic (ty Gumball) language in Isaiah or one of the OT prophetic books.
Then there’s Numbers 5:11-31… http://biblehub.com/numbers/5.htm
knittingknots January 25th, 2015 at 11:25 am
good piece, but a correction. 1 Thessalonians is in the New Testament, one of the Pauline letters. You might want to fix that.
FatRat January 25th, 2015 at 11:42 am
“I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: ‘O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.’ And God granted it.” Voltaire
fancypants January 25th, 2015 at 11:52 am
The United States government must not undertake to run the Churches. When an individual, in the Church or out of it, becomes dangerous to the public interest he must be checked.
— Abraham Lincoln, regarding the Churches, quoted from Franklin Steiner, The Religious Beliefs of Our Presidents, p. 143
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If I could conceive that the general government might ever be so administered as to render the liberty of conscience insecure, I beg you will be persuaded, that no one would be more zealous than myself to establish effectual barriers against the horrors of spiritual tyranny, and every species of religious persecution.
— George Washington, letter to the United Baptist Chamber of Virginia, May 1789, in Anson Phelps Stokes, Church and State in the United States, Vol 1. p. 495, quoted from Albert J Menendez and Edd Doerr, The Great Quotations on Religious Freedom
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dave-dr-gonzo January 25th, 2015 at 11:58 am
Goatzes!!
Obewon January 25th, 2015 at 2:01 pm
In the 21st century American voter majorities left Cons in the dust, following their unilateral failures of everything. Dem Presidents Clinton and Obama are the only modern POTUS’ balancing, or surplussing any budgets by reversing GOP record deficits of GWB, GHWB and their “Bush on Jobs: Worst Track Record on Record”-WSJ! 1/09/2009.
Jeb Bush / Cheney’16~ Project for a New American Great Depression! https://www.flickr.com/photos/speakerpelosi/13630053153/in/photostream/ <-BLS March
red-diaper-baby 1942 January 25th, 2015 at 2:09 pm
In that picture of the gun rally, there’s a guy wearing a hooded jacket, with the hood up around his face. I thought that’s a sure sign of a criminal, a “thug” looking for what he can rob or loot, He should be shot on sight!
Suzanne McFly January 25th, 2015 at 2:17 pm
I am confused, why do they want to execute accessories and how do they do this? Hammer, run it over, put it in the toilet…..?
Jeff Childers January 25th, 2015 at 2:58 pm
Point of note: 2 Thessalonians was purportedly a New Testament letter to one of the early churches.
bpollen January 25th, 2015 at 6:34 pm
The Pauline Epistles.
bpollen January 25th, 2015 at 6:25 pm
The bible is a book, more properly an anthology, compiled by committee.
“A camel is a horse designed by committee.”
— Alec Issigonis.
eyelashviper January 25th, 2015 at 7:21 pm
Love me some Busta Troll….so glad to see you here.
Pearl Polanski January 25th, 2015 at 11:00 pm
You missed a flag…
whatthe46 January 25th, 2015 at 11:48 pm
great article.
William January 26th, 2015 at 12:30 am
It helps to learn their language.
William January 26th, 2015 at 12:31 am
THEN.
You can figure out what they are trying to say.