March 15, 2015 4:30 pm -

dog with a gun[su_r_sky_ad]You’d think by now that the simple formula “psychosis + firearms = mayhem” would have led state and federal governments to enact legislation to keep guns out of the hands of crazy people. But no, because Wayne LaPierre. Raw Story‘s TBogg has the dogged details on what one lunatic gun owner was told by his pooch:

An Albuquerque man is being held after shooting his ex-girlfriend in the head after telling police he was following instructions from his neighbor’s dog, according to the Albuquerque Journal.

Matthew Gonzales, 48, was taken into custody and charged with multiple counts of assault, robbery, and kidnapping after shooting the woman on Tuesday.

The unidentified victim was rushed to the hospital after being found in the street with a gunshot wound to her head. The woman, who is in stable condition, identified her assailant as Gonzalez, stating he used to be her boyfriend.

Gonzalez turned himself into police after speaking with a local pastor before surrendering at his church.

According to a statement Gonzalez gave to investigators, he became enraged when the women listed herself on social media as single. Gonzalez told police that he communicates with his neighbor’s dog telepathically and that the dog told him, “You need to take care of this.”

Am I the only person who finds it odd that we never hear stories of man’s best telepathic friend telling his or her owner to “buy low, sell high” or “at your age, you really do need a colonoscopy”?

D.B. Hirsch
D.B. Hirsch is a political activist, news junkie, and retired ad copy writer and spin doctor. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.

22 responses to Dog ‘Tells’ Owner To Shoot His Girlfriend

  1. bpollen March 15th, 2015 at 4:40 pm

    Sam is a bad dog! Bad dog! First there was that guy in New York, and now…

    • whatthe46 March 15th, 2015 at 5:25 pm

      HA! i waited until after i read through the comments, because i knew someone would bring up “the son of sam.”

      • FatRat March 15th, 2015 at 5:43 pm

        I knew it wasn’t Berkowitz! (smile)

        Seinfelds van

      • nola878 March 15th, 2015 at 8:03 pm

        That’s what immediatly sprang into my mind too.

        And why I try to read the comments first!

        Great minds and all that.

      • bpollen March 16th, 2015 at 2:16 am

        Sometimes ya just gotta…

  2. Carla Akins March 15th, 2015 at 4:47 pm

    This is why Anomaly has cats, and you don’t want to know what they have to say.

    • Anomaly 100 March 15th, 2015 at 6:42 pm

      Whisperz read that. You’re in so much trouble.

      By the way, when are you visiting?

      • Carla Akins March 15th, 2015 at 6:57 pm

        Mid-May probably, if I wait till the end of the month the holiday really drives up ticket prices. Whisperz doesn’t scare me! (I’m not there yet)

        • Anomaly 100 March 15th, 2015 at 9:00 pm

          Whisperz askeers me. Can’t wait for you to get here.

      • rg9rts March 16th, 2015 at 4:44 am

        PSFffffsty ack ack pfffffsty

  3. Obewon March 15th, 2015 at 4:52 pm

    Dog spelled back words: Gonzalez told police that he communicates with his neighbor’s dog telepathically and that the god told him: ‘Shoot ‘n surrender at your church for free gun owner mental healthcare.’ Dog’s know 2/3 of all homicides are committed by USA’s 32% gun owning households.

  4. Suzanne McFly March 15th, 2015 at 5:09 pm

    If he gets away with this, my dog just told me to bitch slap Christie.

    • Anomaly 100 March 15th, 2015 at 6:42 pm

      Then you must.

      • Suzanne McFly March 15th, 2015 at 9:04 pm

        Okay, you got my bail…check.

  5. Warman1138 March 15th, 2015 at 9:46 pm

    Obey Fluffy or face the consequences.

  6. rg9rts March 16th, 2015 at 4:42 am

    That didn’t save David “Son of Sam” Berkowitz from being put away

  7. Budda March 16th, 2015 at 8:56 am

    I’ve had dogs talk to me. The usual conversation revolves around food and/or open the door so I can pee.

  8. Benji0804 March 16th, 2015 at 2:25 pm

    How would of mental health laws prevented this when he got the gun before the shooting and than claiming “the dog made him do it”?

  9. Boehner-Monkey March 16th, 2015 at 6:22 pm

    Look, I am not trying to be funny here, but this is clearly Obama’s fault.
    We gotta sue the President.

  10. CHOCOL8MILK March 17th, 2015 at 1:34 am

    And people wonder why I’m a cat person.

  11. CHOCOL8MILK March 17th, 2015 at 1:39 am