April 2, 2015 11:00 am -


Alan Keyes is another one who says that if gays can get married humanity will end, because there won’t be enough people making babies. Because we’re all going to want to jump on the gay bandwagon, get into gay marriages, and stop making children. Makes sense.

“Given that same sex couplings are, as such, barren,” he adds, they therefore do not have the right to marry: “For if made into a law for all, over time the concrete material manifestation of humanity would cease to exist.”

“This large-scale extinction of humanity now seems to be an acceptable goal for some elements of what I call the elitist faction,” Keyes said. “For the sake of the earth, of ecology, of environmental balance and purity, they seem to have conceived a righteous hatred against the existence of the human species, and therefore against its procreation.”



D.B. Hirsch
D.B. Hirsch is a political activist, news junkie, and retired ad copy writer and spin doctor. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.

48 responses to Alan Keyes: If Gays Marriage Is Legal, ‘Humanity…Will Cease To Exist’

  1. fahvel April 2nd, 2015 at 11:04 am

    aside from this guy being totally insane and lacking a single saving grace, it’s not a bad idea – imagine an earth allowed to flow and ebb and regenerate itself without the vilest of parasitic species on its surface

    • Foundryman April 2nd, 2015 at 11:26 am

      I think about that everytime I go out back to my spot in the woods to listen to the peace and watch the birds, then off in the distance I hear some idiot speeding down he road in his junk truck with no muffler on it or some gun nut decides to do some target practice.

      • bluejayray April 2nd, 2015 at 1:26 pm

        I feel your pain. I live remote and right on the water. But a mile away there’s a gunnut range. One of my pet peeves is people who move from the town to the country, and then they have to light it up like a busy parking lot. I can’t even see the moon and the stars anymore, let alone the boats going by at night.

    • bluejayray April 2nd, 2015 at 1:22 pm

      I’ve been rooting for a stray meteor that would wipe us out but leave the sea life. It would give the planet time to heal before creatures walked on the land again–and maybe the next batch will do better than we have done. I think there may even be an American Native story like that.

  2. Foundryman April 2nd, 2015 at 11:09 am

    Before Sarah Palin, before Michelle Bachmann, before Steve King and before Allen West….there was Alan Keyes…
    He thinks we are all gay but just don’t know it yet? Once gay marriage is legit, we all will get gay married…

    That sounds like the same mentality that believes once the drug war is abolished, we all will become herion addicts and crack whores. Every last one of us.

    • bluejayray April 2nd, 2015 at 1:20 pm

      Well said. They really do think it’s a choice. They should try it and settle that question in their minds forever.

  3. Mike April 2nd, 2015 at 11:21 am

    If gays don’t have the right to marry simply because they can’t procreate does that also follow for barren heteros????

  4. Roctuna April 2nd, 2015 at 11:28 am

    Alan Keyes secretly wants to marry Rev. Hagee.

  5. StoneyCurtisll April 2nd, 2015 at 11:29 am

    Allen Keys…
    A failed candidate…
    And if not for this article, he would have been a lost memory…
    Why bring this near forgotten fool up?

  6. FatRat April 2nd, 2015 at 11:36 am

    Alan Keyes is absolutely correct in his reasoning. You make Gay marriage a reality and my lustful thoughts will switch from Raquel Welch to Rocky Balboa, that’s just science. Allow Gay marriage and the dinosaurs will re-inherit the Earth.

    Gay marriage killed off the dinosaurs. Which makes it even more confusing to think that they are going to re-inherit the Earth. lol

    • StoneyCurtisll April 2nd, 2015 at 11:42 am

      Speaking of Raquel Welch…
      Porno for Pyros..
      Turn it up~!

      • StoneyCurtisll April 2nd, 2015 at 11:49 am

        My friend says we’re like the dinosaurs

        Only we are doing ourselves in

        Much faster than they

        Ever did…
        We’ll make great pets..

    • bluejayray April 2nd, 2015 at 1:18 pm

      Or as Billo might say, “You just can’t explain that!”

    • Roctuna April 2nd, 2015 at 1:37 pm

      Wow, I never saw that “theory” for their extinction. Problem is, there are fundie sects (e.g. see creationist museum literature) that claim Noah took two babies of each species of dinosaur onto the ark. How’d he get godly approval for that?

      • FatRat April 2nd, 2015 at 1:44 pm

        I think there are two versions, one has two by two. The other 14 clean and 2 unclean boarded the Love Boat. lol

        Genesis 7:2
        Take with you seven pairs of every kind of clean animal, a male and its mate, and one pair of every kind of unclean animal, a male and its mate,

  7. Gindy51 April 2nd, 2015 at 11:38 am

    And the planet will breathe a HUGE sigh of relief.

    • Long Tom April 2nd, 2015 at 12:21 pm

      I hear that…sadly, in large part, it would be no great loss.

  8. Khary A April 2nd, 2015 at 11:51 am

    You know Alan I almost forgot about you…so much for that dream.

    • bluejayray April 2nd, 2015 at 1:17 pm

      I know. He had been quiet for awhile. he must be getting ready to run for President again.

  9. nola878 April 2nd, 2015 at 12:35 pm

    Keyes is absolutely right. Although I’ve been a life long hetero, I just know that the day gay marriage becomes legal, I’ll throw over 55 years and rush into a gay marriage!

    Oh, the humanity! (some one had to say it)

    • bluejayray April 2nd, 2015 at 1:16 pm

      I feel your pain. What to do! What to do! Be straight? Be gay? Oh gosh, I’m overwhelmed with the decision!..

      • Dwendt44 April 2nd, 2015 at 3:04 pm

        I’m not getting married even if all gays are allowed to marry.

        • bluejayray April 2nd, 2015 at 4:22 pm

          Me neither, actually. It’s not for everybody. I have no desire to blend my finances with anyone else for one thing. Been there, done that, burned the t-shirt.

          • Dwendt44 April 2nd, 2015 at 6:22 pm

            I divorced my ex in 1979, and at this late age, it likely I won’t find

            find anyone I’m THAT interested in to tie the knot again. At least not under current circumstances. Maybe I’ll find a rich widow someday.

          • bluejayray April 3rd, 2015 at 7:09 pm

            I wouldn’t mind something like that–perhaps a rich benefactor who found me amusing…

  10. whatthe46 April 2nd, 2015 at 1:10 pm

    i wanna slap the ugly off his stupid face! some heteros can’t reproduce when gays can, and have done. where do this idiots come from? and who do you blame when heteros DON’T want to have children. jackaassssss

    • bluejayray April 2nd, 2015 at 1:14 pm

      Maybe he knows something we don’t. Maybe there are just hordes and hordes of closeted christians who are just waiting for gay marriage to be legal so they can stop pretending to be straight…..

      • whatthe46 April 2nd, 2015 at 1:25 pm

        good one.

        • bluejayray April 2nd, 2015 at 4:30 pm

          I don’t know why else they’re so afraid of it.

  11. bluejayray April 2nd, 2015 at 1:12 pm

    Where’s my rolled up newspaper?

    • whatthe46 April 2nd, 2015 at 1:24 pm


  12. tracey marie April 2nd, 2015 at 1:50 pm

    Two of mittens sons and wives are barren, should their marriage be annulled. Older people who get married are not fertile, should they be forbidden to amrry, this kind of ridiculous ranting makes him and the rest of the phobic crowd look even more like uneducated rubes then anything else

  13. Apocalypse April 2nd, 2015 at 2:07 pm

    So he thinks gay marriage is an environmentalist plot to destroy humanity?

  14. Bunya April 2nd, 2015 at 2:19 pm

    So, what Alan Keyes is saying, is that everybody’s gay, pretending to be straight.
    I knew it!
    Thank you Alan. We can now all come out of the closet!

    • rg9rts April 2nd, 2015 at 2:47 pm

      I don’t think he knows nor understands what he said

  15. rg9rts April 2nd, 2015 at 2:47 pm

    What a moron…..Is he giving up sex too???

  16. illinoisboy1977 April 2nd, 2015 at 2:56 pm

    We have 6.5 billion people on this planet. I don’t think we’re exactly “endangered”. Besides, gay marriage isn’t going to magically make everyone sterile. Straight people will still be able to reproduce, contrary to Mr. Keyes’s suppositions.

    • Dwendt44 April 2nd, 2015 at 3:02 pm

      Even gay couples have children. With the 7 Billion people on earth now, we are stretching our ability to feed and otherwise provide for even them.

  17. Larry Schmitt April 2nd, 2015 at 5:08 pm

    One estimate I found from 2012, in about 10 seconds of looking, said 3.8% of the US considered themselves LGBT. Assuming the rest of the world is approximately the same, that still leaves a whole lot of people available to make babies. We ain’t goin nowhere, you idjit Keyes.

  18. Carla Akins April 2nd, 2015 at 6:03 pm

    I’m confused, climate change is a hoax but peer pressure from trending LBGT popularity will end humanity? Well, why didn’t he just say so.

  19. mrbigstuff April 2nd, 2015 at 6:59 pm

    This is one of most stupid things and there’s 100’s this house negro has said

  20. bpollen April 2nd, 2015 at 9:15 pm

    Damn those straight people!

    They keep having gay babies in their hell-bent drive to destroy the human race!

    If you want to stop the gay agenda, you gotta go to the source – straight people!

  21. Warman1138 April 2nd, 2015 at 10:33 pm

    Another day another conservative tries to out stupid the previous one.

  22. burqa April 2nd, 2015 at 11:34 pm

    Keyes called Mary Cheney a “selfish hedonist” because she is a lesbian. He went on to say, “If my daughter were a lesbian, I’d look at her and say, “That is a relationship that is based on selfish hedonism.””
    When it came out his daughter really is a lesbian, Keyes released a statement saying, “My daughter is an adult, and she is responsible for her own actions. What she chooses to do has nothing to do with my work or political activities.”

    When she told Keyes she was a lesbian, Keyes threw her out of the apartment he had provided for her, had her fired from her job.
    His daughter posted on the web, “I’m all about working for global justice. THEY don’t care about that. THEY only care that I am an evil dyke.”

    • whatthe46 April 3rd, 2015 at 1:42 am


      • burqa April 3rd, 2015 at 8:17 pm

        It is indeed. It’s one thing for Keyes to be a dunce, but to be so politically ambitious as to turn on his child like that sickens me. The family values I was raised to believe are quite different. We support each other. Any disagreements are kept private and anyone outside the family sees us as united.
        Gays in my family are respected and loved and their sexual orientation is not an issue.