June 1, 2015 1:00 pm -


Alabama is the only state to so-honor the president of the confederacy.

It’s a peculiar holiday, given that Jefferson Davis’ birthday is actually on June 3, and also given that Davis was born in Kentucky, ruled in Virginia, fled through the Carolinas and Georgia, retired in Tennessee, and settled in Mississippi, with only the briefest of layovers in Alabama. And also because Jefferson Davis was the head of a fucking racist tyrannical state whose fucking reason for fucking existing was its fucking insistence on the treatment of enslaved human beings as fucking chattel to enrich fucking people like Jefferson Davis.

But, you know, it’s June. And it’s nice out! Lay in the recently repainted bed of the ’79 El Camino and soak up the states’ rights.




D.B. Hirsch
D.B. Hirsch is a political activist, news junkie, and retired ad copy writer and spin doctor. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.

22 responses to Alabama State Offices Closed Monday To Honor Jefferson Davis

  1. NW10 June 1st, 2015 at 1:52 pm

  2. Jack E Raynbeau June 1st, 2015 at 1:53 pm

    They should officially change the name to Talibama.

  3. Dwendt44 June 1st, 2015 at 1:59 pm

    A holiday honoring a treasonous criminal? Oh, right, it’s Alabama.

    • allison1050 June 1st, 2015 at 3:33 pm

      And there ya go Dwendt.

  4. Khary A June 1st, 2015 at 2:13 pm

    September 12, Burn a confederate flag day…be sure not to miss it this year.

  5. ExPFCWintergreen June 1st, 2015 at 2:32 pm

    And just in time for Confederate Memorial Day this Wednesday (in KY, LA, and TN)

    • Elmer Gantry June 2nd, 2015 at 11:23 am

      A real shame that General William Tecumseh Sherman missed his opportunity include Alabama in his March to the Sea…

  6. allison1050 June 1st, 2015 at 3:11 pm

    And little Bobby Jim Boy still can’t read but oh well.

  7. anothertoothpick June 1st, 2015 at 4:19 pm

    It is too bad we did not let the south secede when we had the chance.

  8. William June 1st, 2015 at 4:35 pm

    And why not? 49th in education.
    “Hay’ull, least we aint fourty-tenth”

  9. Suzanne McFly June 1st, 2015 at 4:36 pm

    Okay, June 4th will be a federal holiday commemorating the Black Panther Party. We can go tit for tat if they want, but our tat is a lot bigger than their little tit.

  10. OldLefty June 1st, 2015 at 7:01 pm

    And I always thought that April 9, 1865, the day that Gen. Robert E. Lee surrendered the Confederate Army to Gen.
    Ulysses S. Grant should be a national holiday.

    • StoneyCurtisll June 1st, 2015 at 7:06 pm

      I agree~!

    • bigovernmentsocialconservative June 3rd, 2015 at 1:34 am

      OldLefty!!! How are you!!! Good to see you again!!!

      • OldLefty June 3rd, 2015 at 5:48 am

        Thank you.
        It’s mutual, I’m sure!

  11. StoneyCurtisll June 1st, 2015 at 7:02 pm

  12. StoneyCurtisll June 1st, 2015 at 7:08 pm

  13. fahvel June 2nd, 2015 at 2:14 am

    wow – a wonderfully written commentary – fucking fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  14. Elmer Gantry June 2nd, 2015 at 11:17 am

    June 3rd — Surrendering Sons of Confederate Traitors Day

  15. glennst010 June 2nd, 2015 at 2:40 pm

    They should honor him please us by seceding from the US. It would be one big “Good Riddance” for me. Alabama is one of those Red states that take more from our national Treasury than they put in. They are losers and moochers.

  16. bigovernmentsocialconservative June 3rd, 2015 at 1:33 am

    Alan Colmes wrote this? Alan? Are you okay?

    Look, am sorry I drifted out of your community into the general online world. I had to spread your message. I HAD to.

    But I am sad to see it has led to you cussing so much. I lost count of the number of times you used the F word in this article.

    Good to see you thriving, buddy!!!

    • illinoisboy1977 June 3rd, 2015 at 11:02 am

      I believe Adam Weinstein, at Gawker, wrote the text in question. While I understand the anger, as I condemn everything about the Confederacy, the repeated profanity diminishes my level of interest in the article. I would rather read a civilized, well-reasoned condemnation than a vitriolic and profane rant.