August 6, 2016 12:23 am -

Calling the police to complain about a prostitute that you hired illegally can get you in trouble.

When cops told Nicholas Salerno that he would face a criminal charge for admitting to hiring a hooker, the nonagenarian replied, “I don’t give a fuck. I’m 90 years old for Christ’s sake.”

As detailed in a marvelous Dennis Police Department report, Salerno dialed cops in late-June to report that he had paid Karen Proia, 48, for a sexual encounter in his home. Salerno said that he got Proia’s first name and phone number from a friend who reported that he “paid a girl one hundred dollars for a blowjob.” Salerno added that his unnamed pal assured him that the woman “would do it for him too.”


Salerno said that he paid Proia $100 for oral sex. Upon her departure from his home, Salerno said that he discovered a gold chain missing from atop a bedroom dresser. Salerno said he waited a week to report the theft because he “wanted to give Karen a chance to bring the necklace back,” police noted.

When asked if he knew the woman’s last name, Salerno told police, “All I know is her phone number and that she lives in an apartment across from the Christmas Tree Shop” in West Dennis on Cape Cod.

Salerno’s chain, police noted, was later recovered from a local firm that buys and sells gold and coins. A worker told cops that Proia had recently pawned the item.



D.B. Hirsch
D.B. Hirsch is a political activist, news junkie, and retired ad copy writer and spin doctor. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.