January 2, 2017 1:00 am -

… and yes, we refer to both his ICBMs


North Korea is close to test-launching an intercontinental ballistic missile (ICBM), according to its leader.

Kim Jong Un said on New Year’s Day that research and development was actively progressing and the test launch was in its last stage of preparation.

North Korea tested ballistic missiles at an unprecedented rate during 2016, although some experts have said it is years away from developing an ICBM fitted with a nuclear warhead capable of reaching the United States.

… and his small… er, “fingers“:

DESPERATE despot Kim Jong-un has ordered North Korean scientists to find a potion to make penises bigger.

The red-faced dictator is embarrassed the men from his country officially have the smallest members on the planet and he’s now told his docs to do something about it. In the most recent Penis Size survey carried out by condom giant Durex, Kim’s kingdom trailed in dead last. … Now Kim has told his scientists they must come up with a wonder drug which will put his rogue state proudly back on the penis map.


D.B. Hirsch
D.B. Hirsch is a political activist, news junkie, and retired ad copy writer and spin doctor. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.