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September 12, 2017 8:59 am - NewsBehavingBadly.com

The whole “Kid Rock for Senate” schtick looks like a publicity stunt leveraging Trump’s fan base. But then, nobody took Trump seriously at this juncture two years ago.

In fact, once you remove the musical embellishments and 82% of the vulgarity, Ritchie sound a whole lot like Trump.

In his “stump speech,” Robert James “Kid Rock” Ritchie hits all the notes that will resonate with deplorables: claims he loves God and Jesus, hates “redistribution of wealth,” single mothers as welfare queens, racist dog-whistle caricaturing of “deadbeat dads,” love of the flag and national anthem, requisite distancing from the more extreme factions very white nationalists to whom he is talking, Hillary hatred, and , of course, he wants to be preznit!

Watch his vulgar rant at your own risk. We have provided a transcript (with props to the good people at Crooks & Liars, with several of our own correx and edits).

What’s going on in the world today?
It seems the government wants to give everyone health insurance
But wants us all to pay.

And to be very frank, I really don’t have a problem with that.
See, cuz’ God has blessed me and made my pockets fat.

But a redistribution of wealth seems more like their plan
And I don’t believe that you should have to save, sacrifice, do things by the book,
and then have to take care of some deadbeat milking-the-system, lazy-ass motherf#$&%’in man.

Now, the issue of struggling single parents is an issue close to my hard.
But read my lips: we should not reward all these women who can’t even take care of themselves
but keep having kid after mother-%$#@% kid.

Of course we should help them out. I don’t want to sit here and sound like a jerk. Let’s help
them out with child care, job training, and put their God@#%@ asses to work.

And you deadbeat dads, who refuse to be a man, who refuse to raise your sons up to be a man.
You ghetto glorifiers and gangster wannabes. I say lock all you assholes up and lock away the f^$@@ keys! [guitar + drum blast]

And if you want to take a knee or sit during our star-spangled banner: call me a racist
cuz’ I’m not PC and think you have to remind me that black lives matter.

Nazis, f@#%& bigots, and now again the KKK: I say screw all you bastards and stay the f%#@ away!

It’s no secret we’re divided and we all should take some blame. We should be ashamed
that we all seem scared to call him by his name! [guitar + drum blast]

So please almighty Jesus if you’re looking down tonight. Please guide us with your wisdom
and give us the strength to fight. T
o fight the tyrant evils that lurk here and abroad and remind us all we are still just one nation under God.

Now let’s get down to brass tacks before I hit you with this funk [3 funky guitar and drum blasts]. Like it or not, Hillary Clinton lost and your president is Donald Mother-F^@#$ Trump!

If Kid Rock for Senate has got folks in disarray, wait till they hear Kid Rock for President of the U.S.A.

Cuz’ wouldn’t it be a sight to see: President Kid Rock in Washington, D.C. [guitar + drum blast]
Standing in the Oval Office like a G. [guitar + drum blast]
Holding my d^@# ready to address the whole country. [guitar + drum blast]
I let the nation get me on eyes live on TV and simply tell them: you never met a mother-f%@#$ black knight [music begins

D.B. Hirsch
D.B. Hirsch is a political activist, news junkie, and retired ad copy writer and spin doctor. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.